|
Funniest Scene
Mr T and Mr S consultation scene
from "Tie Me To A Tree"
by Dr Zhie
(Post Date: 8/21/01)
Nominated by Fianna
November 12, 2001
Official Results are at the right.
|
| Mr T and Mr S consultation
scene from "Tie Me To A Tree", Dr Zhie |
8 |
50.00% |
| Snarf's reactions to to
the med lab scene from "Comedy of Errors", RD |
1 |
6.25% |
| Restroom scene from
"Payback and Technology", The Avenger |
4 |
25.00% |
| Nightclub scene from
"Chanur's Song and Dance", Fianna |
0 |
0.00% |
| Kam baked in a cake from
"Zapped", ThunderWolf |
0 |
0.00% |
| Fianna, waxed out by the
Sailor Scouts from "Sweet Revenge", Lady Thundera |
0 |
0.00% |
| Kam, almost sacrificed
from "RD's Revenge", RD |
1 |
6.25% |
| RD discovers the powers of
Tygra "anatomy" from "Grooved", Chanur
|
2
|
12.50%
|
|
11am
Mr. T and Mr. S
Consultation
Dr.Zhie stared across the desk in mild amusement
as the next
two patients came into the office. The first seemed a bit worried,
looking this way and that, keeping his eyes from meeting hers. The
other boldly marched himself in, flopped into one of the conference
chairs (nearly breaking it), and proceeded to lift one slightly
bloodied boot after the other onto the desk, where they eventually
rested quite comfortably atop a pile of forms and prescription pads.
"What can I do for you, gentlemen?" the
doctor asked,
reclining in her chair.
"We've had a few things on our minds, and we
thought that you
could possibly help us out." Mumbled the shark, who was seated nearer
to the door.
"I'll do the best I can to help you
out." Promised the
doctor. "What's on your minds?"
"We need information about birth
control." The saberlion said
matter-of-factly. "Any and all information that you can give us -
statistics, types, risks, alternatives - everything."
Dr. Zhie pushed her mane back behind her ears and
leaned
forward to hear better. "Excuse me, I think I'm going deaf. Could
you repeat that? I could have sworn you said you needed information
on birth control."
"He did." Shark was twiddling his fins
in his lap. "See, now
that we've moved on from third base into a more intimate
relationship, we need to think of these things. If we don't, it's
just a matter of time before we have a small army of leathery skinned
saberlions running around. Not that we don't eventually want to hear
the pitter patter of little fins, but for the time being-"
"Guys." Dr. Zhie came around the desk,
and leaned against it
when she was standing in front of them. "I don't know if you're
being serious or if someone put you up to this, but neither one of
you has to worry at all about birth control if you're only planning
on being with each other."
"You mean- we'll never have children?!"
Shark seemed a bit
shocked, and Thunderwolf came over to him to put a consoling arm
around the fishy one's shoulder.
"Not if you plan on being the only two
parties involved."
Thunderwolf patted the sniffling shark on the
back, then
looked over to the doctor. "And you knew that without doing any
tests? You can just look at a couple and know that one or both
parties would have no chance of conception."
Dr. Zhie glanced around the room, trying to find
a hidden
camera or something that would tell her this was a set up. "Well, no,
most of the time, it does take a few blood tests and some other
things to figure that out.however, as far as I know, medical science
has not yet advanced far enough to allow two males, or two females
for that matter, of the same species, to procreate."
"But it worked in Jurassic Park."
Managed Shark from behind a
tissue.
"Suffice to say, it just doesn't work that
way here."
Explained the doctor.
"So there's absolutely no way the two of us
would be able to
have our own bundle of joy to teach how to swim, and eventually
overthrow the universe when we're too old to?" Shark asked with
pleading eyes.
"Hypothetically, you could have the dna from
both of you
combined, then inserted into an egg where all of the dna had been
extracted from. The result would be a combination of both of you,
although you'd have to find a female to help you out with the
gestation process." Zhie pointed over to a chart on the wall.
"It's
very much along the lines of cloning."
"So, there's no other way for us to have a
child, then?"
prodded Thunderwolf.
"As far as I'm aware of, no. I'm sorry, if
there was any way
I could help the two of you out, I would." The doctor looked over to
the pair, who were now both smiling - well, more like smirking- at
her. "What? Did I say something funny?" And, then she
understood. "Oh, hell no."
"Come on, doc. You said if there was any way
you could help,
you would." Shark reminded her.
"Number one, I meant in terms of.oh, you
know damned well
what I meant. Second, you couldn't pay me enough money to." The
doctor was about to continue to reason three, but was cut off by the
lion.
"We didn't plan to pay you, we were just
going to force you
to do it." He told her, somewhat more cheerfully than should have
been expected.
"Force me to. Right. As if you'd just, I
don't know, tie me
to a tree and-"
"I've certainly had enough practice."
Thunderwolf reminded
her, cracking his knuckles. |
