[The cards on this page were sent to ThunderCat Bengali, who, despite being drunk on many an occasion, knows a piece of crap when he sees it. All commentary is written by the smithy himself.]
One of the many traditions of Rammastide is the exchanging of greeting cards to those you care about. Or work with. Or just people you know, because, heck, everyone likes to get mail, even if it's just a crappy Rammastide card.
And here, I have displayed the crappiest of the crappy Rammastide cards. I don't know how these people even live with themselves. For convenience, I've scanned the front of the card, and the inside text message of the card, so that you get the idea. We'll begin with the one I received from Lord Lion-o.
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Now, not only is this inappropriate, but I did not need to see Lion-o's bare rump. I cut it off in the picture so that you wouldn't be burdened with carrying that image in your mind for eternity, but unfortunately, the card leaves little to the imagination. And what's my Pummy doing in the same room as a naked Lion-o!? This is getting to be a real disadvantage of being unionized, since I have the least seniority...no one to complain to...
What? Oh, yeah, ThunderCats - we're union. Sucks for us new comers, but from what I understand, Panthro, Cheetara, and Tygra've got something like four years of vacation time saved up from all those years in the suspension pods. It's a sweet deal if you can land one of those full time jobs. Can't be too long before one of them's offed and I get bumped up. Matter of time. Okay, on to the next card.
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Now as appalled as I was at reading the card from Lion-o, I was baffled that Mumm-ra would even take the time to send us a Rammastide card. (This one was addressed to all of the ThunderCats, incidentally.) If you're going to send a card that insults someone, why a Rammastide card? I'm always surprised to see Mumm-ra sink to new lows.
The next one I received was from Third Earth, so it took a little longer to get here than the other greetings did. This was a postcard, and I'm not even going to post what they wrote on the other side because it was just much too naughty, even for this site!
This was just so many shades of wrong, I'm not going to begin to explain things. All I'm going to say is I really do not have to see my older brother in a hot tub with two of my coworkers. Notice how he's checking them both out at the same time. And with the three of them in the tub, who was taking the picture? Wait a minute...the writing on this postcard matches the writing on the card Mumm-ra sent us... Okay, that's it, no more thinking about this one...in fact, I'm going to go burn it right now.
Soon as I get more inappropriate Rammastide cards, I'll post them, but for now, let's hope the rest of the well wishers are a bit more grown up than these.
-Bengali
