“I do not want help.”  Haldir said firmly, but it was difficult for his parents to take him seriously while he still sat on his mother’s lap, clinging to her. 

Galadriel smiled, and it turned to a grin.  “You should hear the pet names your father has for me.”

“Nibbles?  You named it?”  Orophin paused for a moment, pillow still raised above Haldir.  “You named the stuffed rabbit.  Unbelievable.”

“What’s wrong with Nibbles?  It is a good name,” defended Haldir.

“More Darr-oh, less Dare-oh,”  Rumil suggested.  “Daro.  Daro,” he repeated, and Celebrian nodded.

“I say Daro ‘dah-Roh’, too.,  Nenniach defended.  “She had it right the first time, it’s just the Imladrish accent.” 

“Imladrish accent.”  Haldir crossed his arms in disbelief.  “There is no such thing.”

“Do Thranduil again!” snickered Orophin.

“Oh, yes!  Your Thranduil is most excellent!” grinned Valarda.

“I said, OW.”  Orophin crossed his arms and pouted.  “Ow, as in, something has hurt me.”

“Oh.  Are you hurt?”  asked Haldir. 

"But the last time! The last time, when Nana tried to find him an elleth, that didn't work out very well!" Orophin said, grasping for an argument.

Valarda crossed her arms. "The last time, as I recall it, was near a thousand years ago. The last time, your mother forced him to entertain the granddaughter of King Thranduil. The last time, it turned out she picked out one crazy, power-hungry, dictatorial elleth from the forest of despair. Oro, that was the most impossible situation I have ever seen – the girl was talking about skinning orcs and taking their skulls and eating giant spiders – even your mother was afraid of her."

“If he has bonded while we were away…”  Elrond paused.  “Actually, if he has bonded, I suppose that would be just wonderful, considering I kept pushing them both to do so while we lived in Imladris.”

“He has not bonded, Elrond.  Not to my knowledge, at the least.” Answered Haldir, eyes still cast down.

“Nay, it is much worse than bonding.”  Celebrian pulled Elrond into the house and up the stairs.  “It will not take long to see, either.”

“Ah, and that is where Arwen’s one true love enters, some three thousand years later or whatever it was.  No elf is he, but a man.  We shall call him…”  Erestor contemplated things, fork stirring at the air as if the name would come to him.  “…Smellyranger.  And Smellyranger,” he continued, despite Haldir’s chuckle, “loved her very much, married her, had children with her, and so on.  He is gone now, but I shall not give details for I would not be contacting you had I not known that you knew.  Soon Arwen will join him, and do you know why that is, penneth?”

“Because she is in love with him.” said Haldir.  “And he is in love with her.”

Haldir sat down, but the urge to lie and absorb the rays of the sun proved too much.  Soon he was resting his head on his arms above him, legs resting on the quilt – one knee up, one knee down.  “Nana seemed to think you might get into trouble out here by yourself.”

“Your nana is a wise elleth,”  smirked Celeborn. 

“I’ve had a thought,” announced Orophin in the parlor.  The entire family had gathered there after dinner, which had become a ritual for the last few weeks.

“Finally,”  was the only reply, this coming from Rumil who did not bother even to look up from his book.

“Galadriel!” The lady sat up at the sound of her voice, so rudely shouted, and shaking her from her reverie.  Giving an odd look at the elf in the doorway, and the strange creature he held, she sat up, waiting for an explanation.  “My yard and my beach are filled with flamingos.  Thousands of them!  Some of them are even taking over my house!”  He tossed the one under his arm in the direction of the bed, and it landed gently next to Galadriel.  She patted the head of the bird as Elrond crossed the room in exasperation.  “Do not tell me your sons are not involved, for I am certain they are.  And likely my wife and children as well.”

Galadriel took a second look at the spot where the flamingo was now preening itself, raising a brow.  “I have a good feeling that I can tell you whom the mastermind of this operation was.”

Celebrian prodded the inside of her mouth with her tongue, something she only did when she was on edge or a bit nervous.  Usually this occurred most often just before her seemingly practical husband answered in an impractical manner to a question she had yet to ask.  “Why is there a flamingo wandering the halls?”

Elrond looked up from his eggs and toast as if he thought the question to be quite odd.  “Why wouldn’t a flamingo be wandering the halls?”

“Are you coming aboard, or would you care to walk to the gathering?” Haldir opened his eyes to see that Celebrian was hanging out the window watching him.  Nenniach and Valarda were peering over her shoulders, also with their eyes on him.

“It is such a lovely day, perhaps…” he stopped when Celebrian shouted to the horses and they began to trot forward.  Haldir leaped for the carriage, but it was out of his range by then with three laughing elleths pointing at him from the window, hands covering their mouths in mock modesty.  Haldir made another unsuccessful lunge, this time for the bridle of the nearest steed, but his attempt was only half-hearted, knowing they would not think to leave him here.

Her husband took a few steps closer.  “Do not think this is finished, wood elf,” and the words were spoken with a fierce amount of hate, “for I will not stand idly by to hear words that speak ill of my wife and the elleth with whom I raised three elflings.”

Haldir stepped closer, dangerously close, switching to Westron.  “Perhaps you should have thought to raise the elleth first.”

“Well, you’re an elf, aren’t you?” grumbled Gimli, approaching the bird, who was now stretching its elegant pink neck and regarding the newcomers with curiosity.  “If you can talk to trees, you can talk to a flamingo.”

Sighing, Legolas found his way to another door in the room.  “You have apparently mistaken me for a ranger.”

“Oh, my!” Gimli first now noticed the swell of Galadriel’s belly and chuckled.  “You’ve been busy then, my lady!"

"This is mad, Gimli, you can not take the branch down with a single blow! Let me climb the tree, let me save him!" pleaded Legolas, nearly sobbing now.

After many minutes of silence, Legolas picked up the leather bag that Haldir had brought with him. "Anything interesting for me to do in here? A book to read perhaps?" He was yet unsure of what to say to the elf that seemed now to be sleeping across from him. Riffling through the pack, his hands came across a small volume that he pulled out. "'A Guide to Midwifing?'"

"It's a good read," replied Haldir, not fazed in the least.

"So you're the one who knows where the treasure is?" Delian smiled and crouched down beside Orophin. "Tell me where it is," she said, tracing a finger along his jaw, "and we can forget all about this entire incident."

Smiling, he leaned his head forward. "I have it with me," he smirked. Delian's eyes widened in victory. "Just a little lower and you're find it," he said. With a puzzled look, Delian moved her hand to the pocket of his vest. "Lower," he said seductively. She reached for the pocket of his pants. "To the left... no, more to the right... yes, center right there, and down just a wee bit," he said.

"It was probably just Mitzi," Celeborn said matter-of-factly. "She was here all alone for all of that time, perhaps she even invited a few friends in-"

"To move my purple rabbit?" questioned Haldir with disbelief in his voice.

"To move my picture frames?" wondered Rumil.

"To pick up my lingerie and drop it on the floor?" Orophin angrily shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Just stay here for me, little one," she told him. She squeezed his hand again, and apologized afterwards.

"No, Nana, squeeze as hard as you want. It makes up for all the times I nearly pinched your fingers off when I would scrape myself and you'd have to bandage it," said Haldir. He looked to Thranduil, who had gone to the bench and was meticulously rearranging the items. "You've done this before," guessed Haldir as the older elf sat again.

Thranduil nodded. "Birth is a natural thing. You don't need a 'healer' for it, pardon my saying. If all goes well, the mother needs only encouragement and support. Not an excitable Peredhel jumping around with books and... things..."

"I am not a stork," Rumil said, folding his arms over his chest.

"You just delivered my pseudo child to me. What are you, the delivery penguin? The delivery hippopotamus? The delivery marmoset?"

“Happy Birthday, you thief!” Legolas slapped Haldir on the back as he took up residence on the stool next to him.  “You’re getting to be an old elf, you know that?”

Haldir hushed his friend, and then spoke in a low voice.  “Please, not too loudly.  It isn’t until tomorrow, actually.  And stop calling me a thief, your father offered you Greenwood, and I took it only after you declined.”

“I am so terribly sorry, your majesty.” Legolas corrected.  “Happy Birthday, King Thief.”

"Mithrandir!" Haldir grinned as the Istar smiled with a nod.  "It has been long since you have visited, you must come by more often!"

"I do try, m'lad, but there are so many things going on in Valinor, and I cannot be in all places at once," chuckled the wizard.

"Or... can he?" Orophin gave a mischievous look about, causing Celebrian and even Elrond to laugh.

Gandalf shook his head. "Oh, now you've found me out, confound it all.  It's always the ones you least expect who learn your secrets."  He winked at Orophin.  

"Frodo can't remember them, and Samwise was able to recall a verse here and there, but not the whole thing on any of them. Besides, like I told you, it's hobbit tradition for new songs to be written each year."

Gimli took a look around at the discarded papers that littered the floor and desk. "What sort of song are you trying to write, laddie?"

"A holiday song, I suppose."

"Fa-la-lally-la, and all of that nonsense?" asked Gimli. "Pah."

"A shared sentiment," Haldir assured his stout friend.

"What was that?" laughed Elladan as Haldir smiled and reached an arm around to hug Rumil.

Legolas narrowed his eyes further.  “Glad to be of service.  You do understand, elves do not usually celebrate their birthdays once they reach fifty,” Legolas informed the elves sitting at the table grinning at him.

“This is a new age, full of new traditions.” Elrond walked into the room, holding a party hat covered in pink fluffy feathers.  “Here you are.  Your birthday crown,” he said, presenting it with flourish, poofing up the feathers.  “Glad I saved it.”

“I am to wear…THAT?” Legolas pointed at the hat and wrinkled his nose.

"That gives us plenty of time to find a nice girl for you," teased Elladan.

"I can find my own girls," he defended.

"Celebdreth, that is precisely your problem," scolded Elrohir. "Why must you always acquire them in pairs?"

"What?" Celebdreth stood up and paced the room. "You're a fine one to talk, both of you! How is it okay for Glorcheniel to get both of you, while I can only have one elleth?"

"She speaks Southron," he said simply. "And she had a dream about me."

Glorfindel looked down at the plate and picked up a large disk of light brown. He bit into it, chewed the crunchy object as Arwen cringed, and swallowed. "They're a little bland," he said honestly. "What kind of cookies are they supposed to be?"

"All by yourself?" questioned Rumil.

"You should not be here. This door is closed to you."

Sitting up, Haldir tried to find what Legolas had suddenly become interested in.  “What can you see on the horizon?” questioned Haldir, looking more intently over the water.

"Perhaps the cottage has washed away," Glorfindel said. "I see nothing but trees and bushes and flowers. Not that I'm complaining about the flowers, mind you," he stressed, pausing to pluck a cluster of lilac, "but I think the cottage has been misplaced."

"One does not misplace a cottage," Erestor assured him, patiently waiting as Glorfindel fixed the flowers in his dark hair. "We are still on the path, and if we do not soon come to it, we will simply drag Celeborn out here by his ear and he can show us where it is."

Hoisting up his pack higher on his shoulder, Glorfindel did not vocalize his thoughts, but he was hit just the same as Erestor heard them. "No, if we drag him out here, he cannot join us!"

Watching as Nenniach began to pull the item up, Elodien made a grab for it and tugged it away. "Oh, I didn't realize I still had that," she apologized.

"I want to see!" insisted Valarda.

"It's rather embarrassing," Elodien blushed, shoving it further down into the chest.

“It is a new chess set,” Rumil explained.  “From Gondor.  Erestor brought it over for us.”

“Propaganda,” added Haldir, picking up the white king and showing it to Orophin.  “Tiny little versions of the king and his court.  Sent as gifts to other kingdoms and bought by the upper class to show off to their friends.”

“Who gets to be the pawns?” Orophin picked up one of eight identical pieces and chuckled.  “Oh, we’d better not show this to Mr. Gamgee,” he said as he replaced the piece.

Nodding, Valarda bit into her toast again. "Of course I did. You can hear everything going on in the parlor from the kitchen and the other way around." All four elves were suddenly crowded around her on the bed. "I suppose you want me to tell you what it was that I heard."

"Forever," said Elrohir with grand finality.

"That was a pounce," he said pointedly.

Haldir, a washrag in his hand, lashed it out at Orophin's shoulder. "Knock it off, or I'll have you gelded."

"Right, as if you could," shot back Orophin as he scooted over to the door. To Glorfindel, he said, "I pounced him!"

“Ada!” Elladan burst into the kitchen and nearly pounced his father, hugging him fiercely.  “Thank you so much!  I never thought you’d let us get one, but I’m so glad you changed your mind!” He even kissed his father’s cheek before rushing back out of the room.  Elrohir entered shortly afterward.

“She’s perfect!  Cutest one I’ve ever seen!  Thank you, Adar!” Elrohir hugged Elrond with such excitement he nearly choked him before leaving.

"Yes. The third, the eldest is the one who has been taking care of your dog," explained Elrond. 

"Unlike the other two," spoke Erestor, " he is more disciplined. I like to blame it on the fact I did not have... help... during his secondary education." He turned his head to the left, giving Glorfindel an accusing look.

"I love summer more."

"I love summer most."

“Maybe we should take him up on his offer more often, Ria. You know how good he has always been with elflings, and he was stuck alone with none but Glorfindel all those years in Imladris. I would have gone mad, I do not know how Erestor kept from sending him to Mandos a second time.”

“Oh, stop that. You loved Glorfindel being around.”

“Come with me!”  Elodien pulled Haldir by the hand.  “Come, dance with me!”

“Right now?  In front of everyone?” asked Haldir, halting her, drawing her back.

“Everyone.”  Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight.  “I want them to know.  All of them.”