Written by
Zhie with creative help from Maggie, Monty, and Faero.
Rated PG13. Work in Progress;
The main characters are Elladan, Legolas, Aragorn, Mithrandir (Gandalf), and
Haldir. Based on the musical "Chicago".
Legolas
spends a number of days cooped up in the wagon during the journey to Lothlorien.
Once there, he is stripped of his princely clothes and given the drab
uniform of the inmates kept in the Northern Fences Penitentiary.
Unsure of how to act, what to say, or what to do next, he turns to one of
the other inmate elves that has just arrived.
“Excuse
me, and I do not mean to be out of line, but I was wondering if you might know
who is in charge here?” Legolas whispered to the
golden-haired elf next to him.
The
elf shrugged. “I don’t know,
but when I do find out, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.
I can’t believe they would treat me in such a manner…”
The elf goes on to gripe about being the hero of Gondolin,
and something about a Balrog, but Legolas
is more concerned with the two guards that are now in front of the group.
They look to be related, brothers perhaps, both clear their throats and
loudly announce to those present.
[Orophin]
And
now ladies and gentlemen –
[Rumil]
the Keeper of the Trees,
[Orophin]
the
Guardian of the Golden Wood,
[Rumil]
the Captain of Caras Galadhon,
[Both]
Hîrband Adar Haldir!
The
two step aside, and a slightly shorter, yet more
muscular elf proudly steps forward, a number of strips of cloth in one hand.
Legolas
is relieved, as many of the prisoners are, by the somewhat haughty courtesy of
the head of the prison guards, by whom he is blindfolded and led to the cells
.
[HALDIR]
Ask any of the elflings in the cell
They'll tell you this place is just like-
Rivendell
I love 'em all and all of them love me
Because we all know
One day we’ll go across the sea...
Got a little motto
Although you can not see
When you're good to Haldir
He’ll say ‘Follow Me’.
I’ll
lead you through the forest
Right to the Great Mallorn
If you’re good to Haldir
He’ll let you blow his horn.
They say that elves have an endless life
And that's the way I live
Still, I deserve something, boys
For what I've got to give
Don't you know that my cloak
Let’s me blend in, too
When you're good to Haldir
Haldir's good to you!
If you want my lembas
Or my mellyrn stew
Spice it up for Haldir
He'll get hot for you
When we raise our arrows
To shoot an orc or two
You shoot one for Haldir
He’ll shoot one for you
The folks atop the talan
Are the ones Arda adores
So boost me up my talan, Kid
And I'll boost you up yours
Let's all stroke together
Like Galdor and Cirdan
do
When you're strokin' Haldir
Haldir's strokin' you
So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you're good to Haldir
Haldir's good to you!
Haldir
assures Legolas things aren’t so bad, and even if Thranduil
insists the case is a ‘Mandos’ Case’, the
likelihood of it happening is very slim. Legolas
is assigned to one of the flets, and the Northern
Fences are locked down for the night.
Continued...
Notes