a production of
This concert was held June 11-June 12, 2004 in Lothlorien. It is a work of fiction for the enjoyment of those writing and reading it. Please take a seat and enjoy the show.
The setting for the concert was in the green, near where the main fair was taking place. It had been a very beautiful morning indeed. The warm air settled itself around Lorien, a light breeze filtering through the trees and sweeping across the open grass, causing the fresh dew to sprinkle and skip lightly off the tips of the blades.
In the middle of the green, a large circular stage had been set up and in front were around thirty chairs, each one with its own cushion. Gandalf had also been called upon to provide some special effects and he was, at that moment in time, adding a few decorative tassels to the cushions with his staff.
Behind the stage, Beleril and Forest were busy setting up needed costumes and equipment, helped by Bilbo who had graciously offered to lend a hand.
"Forest, my dear" the old hobbit squeaked. "I am sorry to have to ask again, but could you please move that dummy? It gives me the jitters!"
Forest looked down to where Bilbo was pointing and chuckled. From behind a clothes rail, Erestor's dummy poked round the corner, giving the slightly disturbing impression that it was alive. Forest bent down and stuffed the dummy back behind the clothes rail and out of sight.
"Ah. Thank you, my dear" sighed Bilbo in relief. "I never have been comfortable with those things up close. From a distance is fine, but they have a strange life-likeness about them, don't they?"
"I quite agree" replied Forest with a grin and resumed sorting out the costumes.
"Where do you want these?" asked Beleril poking his head around the stage. In his hands he held several silver candle holders, each held by a thin yet sturdy pole that could be stuck in the ground.
"Just set them up around the outside of the stage, Bel" she replied. "Only, make sure that there is good space between them".
Beleril nodded and disappeared with the hefty bundle clutched under his arm.
As the day wore on, a few people began filtering into the green, fresh from their adventures at the Fair. The sun was sinking steadily in the sky, and soon it was just peeking above the hills behind the green, and although not swelteringly hot as it had been at midday, there was still a pleasant warmth that lingered in the air.
As the time for the opening of the concert began to creep over the horizon and into view, the seats gradually began to fill up. From behind the stage, Forest and Beleril were busy titivating the last few things that needed attention. All the acts were lined up in precise order and they were ready to begin.
Outside, Gandalf, Elrond and Gildor were busy handing out programs and unfortunately, back stage, Erestor had suddenly been overcome by a sudden bout of stage-fright.
"I can't do it" he whimpered, for only the second time in his life chewing on his nails. "I can't!"
"You can" said Forest kindly, but firmly. "I've seen you do it and you are absolutely brilliant".
"Is he off again?" asked Beleril, sidling over.
"Seems like it" said Forest with a sigh.
"Alright" came a small voice from below. "I'll give it a go". Erestor looked up and gave a sigh that could rival Forest's.
Forest grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. "Atta elf, Erestor!"
Suddenly, the sound of trumpets was heard, and Forest and Beleril looked up.
"That's our cue" said Beleril matter-of-factly.
"Well, gotta run, Erestor" she said. "You'll be fine" she added with a smile.
Forest and Beleril disappeared around the stage, ready for their final cue. They heard Gandalf climbing onto the stage and addressing the crowd, who had now fallen silent.
"My lords, ladies, elves and elleths" began Gandalf, his booming voice having no need for amplification.
"And hobbits!" piped up Bilbo from the front row, causing a few chuckles from around him.
"Yes, and hobbits" corrected the old wizard, smiling down at his friend. "May I welcome you all, this fine day to the Lorien Faire Concert!"
There was a storm of applause that broke the silence and a couple of cheers from some young elves near the back.
"So, without further waffle from me, let me introduce your hosts for today, Forest and Beleril!" Gandalf finished proudly, and gestured towards the stairs at the side of the stage, upon which Beleril and Forest were now ascending, Beleril carrying a stool under his arm. Thunderous applause followed this and the pair exchanged reassuring glances before they stepped onto stage.
Forest was wearing a red velvet gown that showed the tops of her shoulders and neck. Beleril, on the other hand was wearing a smart silver tunic and black leggings, his pale shimmering hair tied back with a black ribbon.
Forest grinned as she saw all her friends and the elves seating, watching her attentively. She could now understand what Erestor had been going through backstage. She swallowed hard, stepped forward and addressed the crowd.
"Welcome, welcome. To the first ever, and hopefully not the last, Lorien Faire Concert. It is wonderful to see so many have come. I must admit I was slightly worried when I saw the line up for the kissing booth yesterday and wondered how long any potential thuddees were going to stay unconscious for!"
A ripple of light laughter ran through the crowd. Forest smiled appreciatively and continued. "Tonight, I can promise you some truly spectacular performances and we have one coming up in a minute, don't we Bel?"
Beleril nodded to Forest and smiled at the audience. "Indeed we do, Forest" he said. "A magnificent piece that I hope will be enjoyed by many, if not all here tonight." Beleril reached down onto the stool, where there lay a small clipboard and read off it. "And our first act is Erestor and Mister Jerry Tinkles! Enjoy!"
With that, Forest and and Beleril departed the stage, leaving the stool and Erestor came up the other side to a fresh wave of applause. He was holding the puppet of a young boy under his arm. He crossed over to the stool and sat down, placing the puppet on his knee.
Erestor: *grinning and holding the puppet on his knee* Hi, my name is Erestor and this is my friend Jerry Tinkles.
Jerry: Hello!
Erestor: You know, Jerry, I want to start the show with a bang.
Jerry: You want me to shoot you?
Erestor: What? No, no, I meant something catchy
Jerry: A mousetrap?
Erestor: No, something -
Jerry: Can I have a glass of water?
Erestor: Can I introduce us first?
Jerry: Why must we do what YOU want to do?
Erestor: Because, Jerry, I'm the first actor and you're the supporting actor.
Jerry: Oh. Well, at least I get an Oscar for that.
Erestor: What?
Jerry: As supporting actor, you know.
Erestor: Yeah?... What about it?
Jerry: At the Academy Awards you can get one of those golden men trophy things. "The nominees for best supporting actor are: Al the alligator, Rodney the guinea pig, the yellow M&M guy from the TV, and
Jerry." Then the guy opens the envelope.
Erestor: Then what?
Jerry: "JERRY!" Oh thank you so much, oh *sniff*. I'd like to thank Maurice the marmot back home, and, and, and ummmmm my lawyers and umm and uh whats-is-face that lousy ventrickolist uhh -
Erestor: *annoyed* It's `Erestor'!
Jerry: Oh yeah - What did you say your name was again?
Erestor: Jerry, stop it okay? I think we all realize what getting an Academy award would be like. Anyway, how was school today?
Jerry: Umm....Well...
Erestor: How do you like school?
Jerry: Closed!
Erestor: Jerry, I don't like to see you like this.
Jerry: Then invest in blindfolds.
Erestor: What do you have in Westron?
Jerry: A good snore
Erestor: No I mean, what grades do you have?
Jerry: D's
Erestor: Math?
Jerry: *pauses* An F.
Erestor: An F? How come you have an F in math?
Jerry: It's all your fault
Erestor: Why? What did I do?
Jerry: Well ever since you taught me how to do those card tricks.
Erestor: What do cards have to do with them?
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you. The teacher asked me from one to twenty.
Erestor: And what did you say?
Jerry: One...two...three...uh...four, five....uh.....six, seven....eight...uh...nine...ten...uh....jack, queen, king!
Erestor: Jack, queen, king?
Jerry: Yeah.
Erestor: Well, I think I an help you with your math.
Jerry: You can?
Erestor: Yes. I just going to ask you some questions and you try to answer the best you can. Ready? Jerry: Ready.
Erestor: Okay, you have a piece of parchment and you tear it in half. What do you have?
Jerry: Trash.
Erestor: No, I mean like would it be fourths, halves, what?...
Jerry: Halves.
Erestor: Good and you tear that in half what do you have?
Jerry: Fourths.
Erestor: And you tear those in half?
Jerry: Eights
Erestor: And you tear those in half?
Jerry: Confetti!
Erestor: Let me ask you another question: You have one hundred pieces of gold in one pocket and two hundred pieces of gold in the other, what do you have?
Jerry: Somebody else's pants!
Erestor: I don't think this is going to work.
Jerry: What about I ask the audience some questions?
Erestor: Sure, but I don't know if the would want to. *He turns to the audience* Would you?
Gildor: I will!
Jerry: *To Gildor* Okay, what's two plus two?
Gildor: Four
Jerry: Correct, what's four plus four?
Gildor: Eight
Jerry: Correct. What's ten times two plus eight hundred divided by five subtract two hundred and forty two?
Erestor: *interrupting* What do you think he is, crazy?
Jerry: Correct again!
Erestor: Jerry, I help you with your math later, say goodbye to the audience.
Jerry: Goodbye to the audience!
Beleril and Forest came back on stage, Forest still apparently fighting a severe fit of the giggles.
"Thank you Erestor and Jerry" she smirked. Taking out the clipboard, she read out the next act. "And now, we have one of Rivendell's most highly regarded minstrels performing a new ballad for your listening pleasure, called- " she choked on another giggle that was fighting to get out of her, coughed smartly and looked down at her board again. "Sorry, called `Laugh if you Will'. Oh, and take my advice and have a tissue handy! So, without further ado, I give you…… Lindir!"
As soon as he heard his cue, Lindir made his way on stage. He was dressed in a silver tunic, pale blue leggings that hugged his calf muscles and his feet were shod in soft black leather boots. Around his neck, he had donned a deep blue cloak, held by a intricate silver brooch, and it swayed delicately in the breeze as he walked slowly on stage. His silken hair cascaded in pools of silver down his back, fluttering lightly behind him, and around his head he wore a thin golden circlet.
Lindir turned to face the audience, his glittering blue eyes tinged with a hint of sadness. From nearby, Gandalf raised his staff, and the entire stage was lit with a subdued blue glow, and the candles were all extinguished, making Lindir's chiseled features all the more prominent in the light. For a few moments, there was absolute silence. Lindir looked into the audience's eyes, as though staring deep inside their souls, reading them, assessing them. Then, without lifting his piercing gaze, he began his song.
"Laugh, if you will For one who's time is over Laugh, if you will At the one who lost his heart Laugh if you will Laugh, till he departs.
Mock, if you wish For one who could not care Mock if you wish At the one who will not cry Mock if you wish For this is my last goodbye"
Lindir's bell-like voice skipped and frolicked across the listening ears below. Its strange, mellow and haunting quality sent shivers along people's spines, elves and ladies alike as they listened, transfixed by his unique voice.
"Jest, if you dare For one who brought your fame Jest, if you dare At the one who was your own Jest, if you dare For the one you did disown
Scorn if you please For one never have been loved Scorn if you please At the one who yearned for a kiss Scorn if you please For the one who was dismissed
Laugh if you will I will not remember Laugh if you will As I take my final breath Laugh if you will I will love you still in death"
Lindir held onto the very last note, it's shivering music hanging in the warm air, then melting slowly away without a trace.
Tranquil silence reigned for a few minutes, save for the several sniffles that could be heard from the audience. Then, ladies and elves alike erupted into blazing applause. Wolf whistles and shouts of appreciation were heard and Lindir couldn't help it. He blushed a deep shade of magenta, took his bow with a smile and departed the stage.
It was a lone Beleril that came on stage, clapping along with the audience as Jen and Glorfindel took their bows and departed. As they left, he turned to the audience, who looked curious as to why one of the hosts was missing.
"I am afraid Forest is a lost cause at the moment" he began. "Lindir's solo now has her resembling a realistic looking Anduin style flood!" he grinned apologetically at the audience, some who chuckled and continued. "So, you are stuck with me!"
Beleril brought out the clipboard again and squinted down at the list of acts, unable to read Forest's handwriting. "And now" he said finally. "We have something a little different. Please, put your hands together for Jen and Glorfindel, playing a duet on the violin".
As the others had done, Jen and Glorfindel came up from the opposite side of the stage to a river of polite and anticipatory applause. They waited courteously with their violins tucked under their arms, as Beleril retrieved two chairs from below the stage and the exited, leaving them two it. Jen and Glorfindel sat down and the applause petered out.
It was a very subdued looking Glorfindel that struck up the first note. A serene, yet melancholy sound emitted from the instrument joined swiftly by Jen's. Her violin gave out a much lighter sound, whereas Glorfindel's was deep, but not unpleasantly so. They played on, their souls and minds seeming intertwined, each one playing for themselves, and yet still with each other. Their music waltzed through the air, as two lovers on feathered wings, each holding tight to the other, living in perfect harmony.
Finally, Jen and Glorfindel played the concluding note simultaneously, their instruments establishing pure grace and elegance, lending the final polish to their piece. As they lifted their bows of the strings in sync, for once, the audience did not know what to do. The notes had seemed to have some kind of magic deep within them, a beauty, a bewitchment that left the listener dumbfounded. Eventually, an elleth in the front row came to herself and started what escalated into a roaring applause and some elves and ladies even stood up, hailing the two musicians, whistling and cheering as they clapped.
When Jen and Glorfindel lifted their bows again, the audience became hushed again, eager and ready to hear more. It was Jen that began this time and from the first couple of bars, you could tell this piece was certainly going to be more exuberant than the last, but would not lose any of its superb quality. Glorfindel soon joined in and brought up the pace considerably. Their bows moved with precision and a seemingly light-heartedness, occasionally to add a flare of color to their piece, either musician would pluck at the strings creating a tone that made many listeners envision perchance a summer or spring day. The heads of flowers bobbing in time to the wind that caressed them, and the fat bumblebee, darting hither and thither amongst the blooms. Perhaps even the swift with its unusual forked tail, hovering the skies, light as a dandelion seed on the wind.
The tempo began to pick up and soon both Jen and Glorfindel began to forget the presence of the audience, and concentrated ever more on their individual instruments. Their bows moved back and forth across the tight strings, growing ever swifter, the music building up to the inescapable crescendo. As they neared the conclusive bar, Jen used her bow to tremolo the strings and finally they both ended the piece with rapid flick of their bow across the strings.
Those listening down below exploded into a sea of appreciation. The applause rang throughout the entire green, reverberating upon the trees nearby. Several elves and ladies stood up once again, more than even from the previous piece. Wolf whistles and cheering followed the musicians as they bowed appreciatively with smiles and withdrew from the stage.
As they watched Jen and Glorfindel resume their seats, the audience waited patiently for their hosts to come back on stage. When neither appeared, the occupants of the seats below began to turn to each other and chatter curiously about the apparent disappearance of Forest and Beleril.
"I told you they wouldn't be able to stay in close proximity for too long without going off!" chuckled a young elf.
"Hang on!" hissed Gildor to Lindir who was next to him. "Look at this" He showed the minstrel the program he had received earlier and further down the list it said `Ice Dance- Performed by Forest and Beleril'.
Lindir smiled as he read it. "Think we should tell them?" he asked Gildor, nodding in the direction of the rest of the crowd, their programs lying forgotten on the floor.
"Nay" grinned Gildor. "They will find out soon enough".
A couple of minutes later, there was a loud hissing noise. All heads turned to face the stage to see what had caused the noise. Gasps flourished all in the crowd as they saw that the stage seemed to be melting away. A tall figure to the left of the disappearing stage was the source. Gandalf stood, his staff pointed at the stage and as the onlookers watched, they saw the stage suddenly transformed into a gleaming ice rink with a stone border. The newly created ice sparkled and shimmered in the sunlight, but surprisingly did not begin to show signs of melting. There was a minor flash and suddenly the candle flames turned a deep blue and the ice was illuminated with a pale blue light both produced from Gandalf's staff. In the falling darkness, the light glowed especially stunningly and the coldness of the ice produced a thin layer of mist that hovered over the surface.
Gandalf then stepped forward onto the rink, and skated to the center where he addressed the crowd. "My lords, ladies, elves and hobbits" he said pointedly, causing Bilbo to smirk in his seat. "I have great pleasure in announcing not only the first ice rink to ever appear in Lorien, but the first skaters to ever use it for your entertainment. So without further ado, I give you Forest and Beleril!" With that, he skated away, coming to a halt at the side and stepping gingerly off, taking care not to trip over his robes as he went.
As as was with the stage, Forest and Beleril came on the opposite side. From somewhere, a haunting yet beautiful melody began to play, and upon closer listening, it was proved as Camille Saint- Saëns' "Aquarium". Forest had donned a translucent blue robe that came just below her hips, clipped by a silver brooch around her midsection. Underneath, she wore a silken black leotard and her legs were bare, save for the white skates she wore on her feet. Beleril had assumed a shirt that billowed out upon the arms ending with a tight cuff on the wrist. The shirt itself was made of the same material and color as Forest's and instead of a leotard, he had worn some fairly tight black leggings and ebony skates.
They began by skating lightly around the perimeter of the rink, Beleril moving clockwise, Forest anti-clockwise. As she skated swiftly round, Forest stretched her free leg behind her with ease and then skated into Beleril's arms. They did not hesitate, or regain a needed balance. Instead, they skated on, Beleril behind Forest mirroring her every move. They split off on the far side of the ice and performed a faultless figure of 8.
The music played on, its gentle melodies sifting over the ice like an eagle, powerful yet elegant in its flight. Forest and Beleril kept in perfect time with the notes and more than once, Forest would perform a 360 spin in mid-air and land back on the ice without ever over-balancing. The two skaters moved as one, although each mirrored the other in movements.
Then, they both squatted down, Forest more than Beleril, and began to skate backward, Forest crossing each foot over the other as she did so. Then, Beleril stood up, grabbed Forest by the hands and swung her round, leaving barely centimeters between her and the ice, causing a few gasps from the audience. Then, as the music began to draw to a close, they both leant swiftly to one side, again, this time leaving very little space between both of them and the ice, and continued to skate round in that position.
Finally, as the last bars approached they jumped and twirled in sync, then as soon as they landed, Beleril put his hands around Forest's waist and lifted her high above his head. They skated round in that position for one round of the rink, then Beleril gently allowed Forest to descend and they skated into the middle. Leaning back, Beleril caught Forest by the middle of her back and dipped her as they slowed to a halt and the music ended.
Zhie and Fëanor walk across the stage to a bench set off to the side. With just a bit of help from Fëanor, Zhie perches on the back of the bench with her feet on the seat before taking her lute from Fëanor, who then sits down on the other side of the bench. Her strumming isn't the soft tones customary of Elvish ballads. "Tonight's selection is a song about an elf. A great elf. A strong elf. An elf with bold ideas and the will to put those ideas into action. An elf… who lived in the west… " The furious strumming abruptly stops and both Zhie and Fëanor stomp their feet in time as Zhie claps and chants,
"Elves in the east, and elves in the south;
Elves in the trees, and elves in the house;
Elves in the north, and elves in the west;
Elves in Valinor is what I love best!
Elves all the day, and elves all the night;
Elves all stay where there's tree light;
Elves all want to cross o'er the sea;
Elves all sail -- eventually!"
Zhie's hands find her lute once more, and the clapping and stomping stops. "During the peaceful years in Valinor, in the light of the two trees, many great and wonderful things were accomplished. Greatest of those elves who lived in Aman was the son of Finwë and Miriel, the Noldo known as Fëanor. He was a king, a prince, a husband, a father, a leader, a son, an uncle and a brother."
The music stops abruptly and Fëanor says rather loudly, "I didn't do all that well as a brother, unfortunately."
The music begins again, picking up pace, and Zhie begins to sing:
Well, Fëanor had seven sons
Seven sons had he
Maglor, Maedhros
Amrod, Amras
And the other three
Fëanor, Fëanor, greatest of the Noldor, greatest of them all
Fëanor, Fëanor, thought he'd really go far, but he did fall
Well, Fëanor made the silmarils
Took light from each tree
But their light
Was just so bright
Morgoth stole them across the sea
Fëanor, Fëanor, greatest of the Noldor, greatest of them all
Fëanor, Fëanor, thought he'd really go far, but he did fall
Well, Fëanor led the Noldor forth
To take ships to M-e
He led the host
Along the coast
Where they did slay the Teleri
Fëanor, Fëanor, greatest of the Noldor, greatest of them all
Fëanor, Fëanor, thought he'd really go far, but he did fall
Well, Fëanor drove on to Angband
Though outnumbered was he
Killed by Gothmog
The Lord Balrog
Flames set his spirit free
Fëanor, Fëanor, greatest of the Noldor, greatest of them all
Fëanor, Fëanor, though he lives no more, he's in Mandos' hall
Fëanor, Fëanor, greatest of the Noldor, greatest of them all
Fëanor, Fëanor, thought he'd really go far, but he did fall
Finishing with a flourish of notes, Zhie hops down from her perch, and she and Fëanor approach the front of the stage. They bow politely, and then make their way quickly off stage.
Still being cheered and followed by rapturous applause, they watched as Zhie left the stage then Beleril and Forest came up on the opposite side, now changed back into their host dress. This time, it seemed both were only just recovering from a fit of laughter and Beleril was even wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.
"Wonderful, absolutely wonderful" he chuckled.
"Pull yourself together" smirked Forest. "We still have one act to go!"
Turning again to the front of the stage, Beleril addressed the audience. "I hope you can all forgive Forest and I for not introducing Zhie as we did the others. But we needed to take a time- out backstage".
Forest nudged the young elf. "Bel" she whispered pointedly with a smart cough.
"Ah, right" said Beleril, looking down at the clipboard again and then back at the audience. "Elves and ladies alike, get your tissues at the ready because now, singing the glorious `Remember Me', give it up for Kahva!"
The audience resumed polite, yet enthusiastic applause, as Kahva came up on other side, a broad smile on her face. She was dressed in a silken, emerald green dress held in place by beaded straps over her shoulders. The material was separate across her chest until it met just above her ribs. One arm was bare, and the other had a flowing sleeve that fell to just above her slim wrist.
On her wrists she wore beaded emerald bracelets to match the straps. Depending on which way she turned and how it caught the light, the dress would shimmer either pale or vivid green. The material used accented her willowy build and her wavy brown hair cascaded like a chocolate river down her slender back.
She turned and fixed the audience with a penetrating ice-blue gaze, and some on the front row shivered out of the intensity of her stare. Then, without warning, she lifted her eyes and sang the first words of her song.
"Remember,
I will still be here,
As long as you hold me,
in your memory
Remember,
when your dreams have ended,
Time can be transcended,
Just remember me
I am the one star that keeps burning,
so brightly,
It is the last light,
to fade into the rising sun"
Kahva's clear soprano voice sifted across the green, floating delicately on the so each note fell like new, warm rain on the ears of her audience. The audience found themselves enchanted by the beauty of her voice, and nothing would cease their attention.
"I'm with you,
Whenever you tell,
My story,
For I am all I've done
Remember,
I will still be here,
As long as you hold me,
in your memory,
Remember me
I am that one voice,
in the cold wind,
That whispers,
And if you listen,
you'll hear me call across the sky
As long as,
I still can reach out,
and touch you,
Then I will never die
Remember,
I'll never leave you,
If you will only,
Remember me
Remember me...
Remember,
I will still be here,
As long as you hold me,
In your memory
Remember,
When your dreams have ended,
Time can be transcended,
I live forever,
Remember me
Remember me,
Remember... me..."
Almost identically as Lindir had done, Kahva held on to the very last note, leaving it ringing as the morning bell lightly tolls. Finally, the note disappeared like a breath of air and drifted away upon the delicate breeze.
Many of the audience were now wrecked. Hankies and tissues had been pulled out of pockets, and Lindir especially looked up at Kahva with awe. It had been such a long time since he had heard a voice that sounded so beautifully clear and elven, especially from a mortal. And with that, the lithe minstrel dissolved into hopeless tears again.
Forest: *walking on stage again with Beleril and blowing her nose after Kahva's heart-wrenching and exquisite singing* Thank you very much Kahva.
Beleril: *shaking his head even though it's obvious he has been suffering from severe waterworks too!* Tonight, for your pleasure, a play in one act, with one purpose, by one author. "Cheer Squad Face Off", ten minutes of silliness that's all wet, by Zhie, with special guest appearances by two elleths so original, you'll only find them in the purplest of places. Enjoy. *He makes a motion toward the center of the stage and steps off stage as the curtain opens.*
The scene opens with Tala and the JFA Cheer Squad, dressed in green and copper colored uniforms. They are standing off to the side of the sword competition, where Haldir is fighting against some unseen foe.
SQUAD: Haldir, Haldir, He's our elf! He can do it by himself!
HALDIR: *Flashes the audience a grin and thrusts his sword toward his enemy, then chases it offstage to the left*
SQUAD: *Collective sigh*
As the squad watches in the direction Haldir has gone, a second cheer squad appears. The Lorien Pep Team, headed by none other than the Lady Galadriel herself, is dressed in their usual silver and gold. Lady Galadriel approaches Tala and taps her on the shoulder with one of her pompoms.
TALA: *turning around* Good day, Lady Galadriel! *the rest of the team turns around as well*
GLADDERS: I could not help but notice that cheering was going on. Furthermore, I could not help to hear that you were using one of our cheers!
TALA: Umm... eek?
GLADDERS: I demand you stop at once.
TALA: Why can't we both cheer Haldir on?
GLADDERS: Because these are our woods, and that is my Captain. *She spreads out her arms to include the rest of her pep team, which consists of only two other members* We will be the athletic supporters for this competition! *Giggling comes from the JFA Cheer Squad* You dare to laugh at us?
TALA: Well, no, but… *Tala snickers* You did say `athletic supporters' and...
GLADDERS: Fine. I asked you nicely. Now, I'm angry.
*A grinning elf suddenly runs on stage, wearing a referee uniform. It's Glorfindel, and he blows a whistle as he gets to center stage.*
FIN: Time out, everybody! Coach says we can't have two cheer teams on the field, but we can't have a brawl! We need to settle this with a cheering competition!
TALA: *Turning to her squad* Didja hear that? A good, old-fashioned cheering competition – and we can beat `em! `Cause we'll give `em a right! And we'll give `em a left! *The rest of the squad joins for the rest of the cheer* And we'll show them who is the B-E-S-T- Best! `Cause we'll kick `em high! And we'll kick `em low! And we'll send them packin' to the W-E-S-T- West!
GLADDERS: Not so fast. That cheer is one of ours, too! For all I know, you've stolen all of our cheers from us! I demand we settle this in another way.
TALA: *Consults with her squad and they all nod* Sure, we're up for anything. Name the competition!
GLADDERS: *Nodding* Very well. I propose... a pointy ears competition.
TALA: A what?!
GLADDERS: The lady with the pointier ears and her team get to stay. Loser gets out of my woods. Ready?
TALA: Wait, wait, wait. That's not fair! Obviously, you have pointy ears, and I don't.
GLADDERS: Well, if you're going to give up before you even try-
FIN: Ladies, ladies, please. No need to fuss! I have a suggestion.
TALA & GLADDERS: What?
FIN: *Grinning* Wet t-shirt competition!!!
ERESTOR: *Walks across the stage, stopping just before he gets to the other side* Those NitWits comics are REALLY getting to be a bad influence on him. *Jerry the puppet nods and they both exit*
FIN: Well, ladies? What say you? *Both of the ladies nod* Excellent!
*Orophin and Rumil both run on stage, each of them carrying a bucket of cold water. Rumil throws his at Tala, directly hitting her.*
TALA: Rumil!
RUMIL: *shrugging* Sorry. *Looking her up and down* And yet, not really…
*Galadriel holds up her hand as Orophin approaches. He sets down his bucket and crosses his arms. Galadriel reaches into her pocket and pulls out-- *
MEI (From the audience): Oh, no! Not the—
*Galadriel blasts her fog horn, but luckily, everyone has been forewarned and has covered their ears. A few moments later, Celeborn walks onto the stage and steps up next to Galadriel*
CELEBORN: You called?
GLADDERS: Yes, and I'm amazed as always by your promptness. *She carefully steps backward, keeping the bucket of water concealed.* Now, Tala, the only thing we did not address was whom you would be competing against. And as Lothlorien is an equal opportunity community, I am not the leader of our cheer team.
TALA: *dripping on the stage* You aren't?
GLADDERS: *stooping to take hold of the bucket, still behind her* No. *she stands up* Lord Celeborn is. *Galadriel takes hold of the bucket and tosses the water at her husband, drenching Celeborn from head to toe.* Now, to make this fair, Lord Glorfindel, I think we should take a vote of everyone standing here, who they think should win. All those in favor of Tala... *Galadriel looks around, and sees Glorfindel meekly raise his hand in the air, although he is looking at the sodden Celeborn and trying to decide whether or not to laugh* All those in favor of Lord Celeborn… *All of the hands of all of the ladies shoot up into the air, including Tala's, and Galadriel takes her first really good look at Celeborn now that he's soaked.*
FIN: Well, it's settled, then. The Lorien Pep Team wins! They can stay and cheer on Haldir, while the rest of...the... my lady?
GLADDERS: *Galadriel predatorily approaches Lord Celeborn, placing a hand on his chest.* I... apologize for that, my lord, but... the honor of Lorien was at stake...
CELEBORN: I see. *He takes a good look around* Since when did Lothlorien have a cheer team, and when were you going to tell me about my being the head of it? *He takes a really good look at her* Since when did you start wearing such revealing... I think we need to have a talk.
GLADDERS: *Hopefully* A long talk?
CELEBORN: *Picking her up into his arms and growling* A very long talk. *He carries her quickly off stage*
FIN: Due to lack of a leader, the Lorien Pep Team forfeits! The winners are Tala and the JFA Cheer Squad! *The ladies jump up and down and cheer for themselves*
TALA: *Approaching the two other cheerleaders for the Lorien Team* Hey, you can join us if you want to!
VALARDA: No, I don't think so. *tugging on her skirt* This thing chafes! Come on, Oro, we're going home! *Orophin nods and picks up the bucket Rumil had had, as it still contains water* Leave it! *Orophin immediately lets the bucket drop from his hand and follows her off.*
NENNIACH: And you! *Marches over to Rumil and pulls him off by his ear* You drenched that poor girl with water! For shame!
RUMIL: But Lord Glorfindel made me do it!
NENNIACH: *still dragging him off* But you didn't have to enjoy it!
RUMIL: Ow! *They exit the stage*
TALA: Wow! What a day! And look! *Everyone glances over to the left side of the stage, where Haldir is proudly holding up the sword fighting trophy* Haldir won the competition!
SQUAD: Gimme an H, gimme an A, gimme an L-D-I-R! Haldir, Haldir, the best by far! Woooooo!!!
*Everyone rushes back on stage and takes a bow, except for Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, who are unexplainably absent. After they take their bows, Zhie, the production's writer and director, slides across the stage (due to the high water content) and takes a bow before the cast heads off to much cheering and laughter*
As the final cheerleaders left the stage, Forest and Beleril returned for one last time. They walked on stage, Forest still blowing her nose after Kahva's heart-wrenching and exquisite singing. Beleril shook his head in amusement, but it was obvious he had been turning on some pretty severe waterworks too.
"Well" said Forest, addressing the audience. "I am sad to say that we are nearing the end of tonight's concert. It was truly been a wonderful evening, and I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed it as much as we have".
"Yes" said Beleril finally coming to himself. "I also want to thank you for being such a fantastic audience and for putting up with us two mugs here on stage this evening!" A few laughs followed this remark, and Forest soon continued. "Seriously though, we do hope you have enjoyed having us with you, as much as we have enjoyed presenting this evening's festivities to you."
"As I said before" continued Forest. It was been a truly wonderful evening, but it would have been nothing if it hadn't have been for those behind it. Come out guys!"
From behind the stage came Jen, Glorfindel, Kahva, Erestor and Jerry, Tala and the Cheerleaders, Zhie, Feanor, Galadriel and Celeborn.
From somewhere on the outskirts of the crowd, someone began to clap and soon the whole crowd began applauding. Both Forest and Beleril blushed a mild shade of pink, but winging it, they grinned, bowed then Beleril took it upon himself to find their thread again.
"Anyway" he said loudly over the clapping which soon died down. "Thank you, but we would just like to say something". He nodded to Forest who stepped forward.
"You don't escape that easily!" she smirked at the audience.
The elves, elleths and ladies briefly turned and whispered to each other in puzzlement.
"What does she mean?"
"I don't understand!"
"Escape what?"
"I can see you are quite confused!" smiled Beleril stepping forward. "Hands up those who feel in the dark".
Almost every hand in the audience shot up, save Lindir, Gildor and Gandalf who each wore equally smug expressions. They knew what was coming, but were most certainly not about to let on!
"Right" announced Forest. "Gildor, Gandalf and Lindir. Could you take your places up here please? And Jen, Glorfindel, Kahva, Erestor and Jerry, Tala and the Cheerleaders, Zhie, Feanor, Galadriel and Celeborn could you join your audience as I think they will need your assistance!"
With grins and chuckles, the latter group made their way down the steps and sat on vacant chair dotted around the audience. Then, exchanging smirks, the two elves and the wizard made their way up on stage to join the two hosts.
A cheeky shout sounded from an elf in the audience. "Gildor, you orc! You knew all along!"
Gildor just nodded proudly.
"Alright" continued Forest. "I don't suppose anyone here has heard of the `Schneewalzer'?"
A groan and a laugh came from the front row. "I have!" the elf piped up.
"Good!" commented Beleril. "You on the front row will have someone to help you out now!"
"Help with what?" called out an elleth causing the elf in the front to turn and wink smugly at her.
"All will be revealed" smirked Forest.
From her seat, Shelly rolled her eyes in amusement. She had lost count of the number of times she had been told the very same thing by Forest over the past few days.
"Now!" said Gandalf, stepping forward. "The music for this will be provided in the same way as the ice dance was. Now, if you could split yourselves down the middle please."
The crowd looked at each other, still curious and those in the middle edged their chairs away slightly so there was a defined gap between the two now separate blocks of seating but not too large. He turned to Gildor. "You and I take this side and Forest, Lindir and Beleril will take the other".
The other four nodded and Gildor walked over to join Gandalf. "The purpose of this song is to have fun but keep in time. Our side will do the clapping to begin and Forest, Lindir and Beleril's, the stomping. When the music starts, we'll give you the cue to begin".
"Yes" continued Beleril. "And the cue when to swap stomping and clapping".
"Shall we practice?" asked Gandalf.
"An admirable suggestion, Gandalf" replied Forest. "Music please" she called.
From somewhere behind the stage, the sound of a brass band started up, mellow but definite. Gandalf's half of the audience turned to face him, ready for their cue as did Forest's.
"And clap!"
"Stomp!"
Forest, Lindir and Beleril began to stomp their feet in time to the music and after each of their `stomps', Gandalf and Gildor's side gave two claps.
Gandalf raised his hands, and the music, stomping and clapping ceased. "That was perfect" he grinned. "Now there's just the swaying to take care of". He stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Forest, if you would?"
"Of course" she replied and stepped forward. "Now the swaying is very different but no more difficult" On Gandalf's signal, the front row will link arms and start a swaying motion left, right, left right and so on, but the row behind them will go the opposite way and the row behind that, opposite to that. Okay?"
There were murmurs of agreement from the audience and Forest stepped back.
"Let's go!" called Gandalf. "And this time, it's the real thing!"
"READY?" called Beleril.
"Yes!!" came the yells from the audience.
Gandalf announced for the music to start again, and sure enough it did. As as was with the practise, they began on the fist few bars in.
"And STOMP!" called Forest and Lindir and began stomping along with their side.
"Clap!" called Gandalf almost immediately after causing his and Gildor's side to clap in time with the music and stomps.
"Annnnd SWAP!" called Gandalf a few bars later. There was a slight commotion below as the audience got used to their new roles, but soon there was stomping and clapping again as well as laughter. Suddenly, the music changed to an even more spirited brass melody and everyone looked up as Gandalf shouted. "Now! Join and SWAY!"
All the rows, even those who were separated, linked arms and began to sway in time to the music, each row moving alternately to the one in front and behind. Even those on stage had joined arms and were swaying in one line until finally Gandalf and Forest called out.
"CLAP!"
"STOMP!"
Forest's side resumed stomping and Gandalf's clapping, until the call for "SWAP!" came again.
By this time, many of the audience were in hysterics as they swayed, stomped and clapped in miraculous time to the brass band music.
For one final time, Gandalf and Forest called "SWAYYYY!" and the entire audience linked hands once more and swayed along with those on stage until the final bar played. The noise of the applause that followed was immense. It echoed and reverberated all around the green and the woods. Those on stage applauded their audience and those in the audience applauded those on stage.
Finally, when the noise quietened, Forest and Beleril stepped forward, quite breathless and said their final words of the evening.
"Well, I hope you all enjoyed that!" began Beleril.
A shout of appreciative laughter came from the audience as well as yells of "YES!!" and some cheeky ones of "NO!"
Beleril and his companions laughed along with them and Forest stepped forward. "As I said before. It was been a truly wonderful evening, but it would not have happened if it hadn't have been for the marvelous talent here tonight. Come up again, guys!"
From the audience, the remaining performers made their way back on stage again and joined Gildor, Lindir, Gandalf, Beleril and Forest.
"Thank you again" said Beleril finally. "We have enjoyed your company very much indeed and we hope to see you again next year!"
The audience erupted into volcanic applause and all those on stage, looked at each other, grinned, link hands and bowed in a line. The clapping raged on and the performers gestured in turn to each other, each getting a single bow or curtsey of their own.
Eventually, the clamor began to fade away, and the performers left the stage and went to join those below. There were two things now for certain. No one would get much sleep that night and there were drinks available by the gallon over the far side of the green.
As people came back with their drinks, Gandalf begun his long planned firework display that he had not revealed to anyone, not even Forest or Beleril.
"Well, I didn't know he was going to do that!" grinned Forest as she watched a shower of butterflies rain down upon the green.
"Nor I" replied Beleril, sipping his drink. "But you can't fault him!"
"True" said Forest. Then turning to Beleril, she smiled. "You were brilliant!"
Beleril blushed. "So were you, my lady". Then without warning, the young elf bent down and placed a chaste kiss upon Forest's lips. As they parted, he smiled down at her. "And so you always will be to me".
This concert was held June 11-June 12, 2004 in Lothlorien. It is a work of fiction for the enjoyment of those writing and reading it. We hope you enjoyed your evening here at the concert. Thank you for coming.