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An Unexpected Reality
by Amanda
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Chapter 5

It was believed by some that the element of Ereinion Gil-galad's name that translated as starlight was so given to him because of the light in his eyes when he was born. Having long since developed into a powerful and influential adult, he was possessed of a gaze of such intensity that many were known to find it unnerving. Elrond was not amongst their number, but then it had to be said that there was often a certain softness about the King's expression when his eyes came to rest upon his Herald.

There was such a look in Gil-galad's eyes now. Upon emerging, far earlier than expected, from the depths of the healing slumber into which Elrond had sent him, the King had opened his eyes to find his trusted healer smothering his right hand with kisses. In the usual course of events such behaviour would, of course, have been considered highly inappropriate but the relationship that existed between this particular High King and his Herald was perhaps unlike any other corresponding relationship that had existed elsewhere or in the past. Furthermore, the High King had been giving a great deal of thought to matters of the heart as of late, and these themes had sprung into his mind the very moment that he found himself in a state of consciousness.

Clutching the King's hand with both of his, Elrond kissed it again. He met Gil-galad's gaze with eyes that literally shone with earnestness. Nothing could have prevented Elrond from displaying the depth of his feelings at that moment; to have attempted to do otherwise would have seemed a contemptible and impossible travesty.

Although he was still weak from the injuries that the Dark Lord had inflicted upon him, the renowned light in Gil-galad's uncommon sapphire eyes remained undimmed. He squeezed Elrond's hand tightly, the strength of his grip belying the less than perfect state of his health.

Gil-galad was staring at Elrond as if his eyes were taking in every detail of his face for the very first time. There was a miraculous energy about the King as life, strength and, perhaps, realisation poured themselves liberally into him. No sooner was he awake than he seemed to be fully aware of his situation. He would have made a brave attempt to manoeuvre himself up off the ground had it not been for Elrond's gentle restraining hand; a remarkable feat for one who, only a short time ago, had been on the receiving end of Sauron's malevolence.

Gil-galad took his time before speaking and when he did so his voice was soft yet surprisingly clear.

"Elrond ..... tell me, beloved friend, does a healer commonly make it his practice to kiss the hands of his patients whilst he believes them to be sleeping?"

A tremor ran through Elrond's body and a smile of rare happiness spread light across his face as he witnessed the twinkle that had suddenly appeared in the King's eyes. He felt as though he had waited throughout the entirety of his long years for this most exceptional of moments. Slowly, he raised the King's hand to his lips, and watched intently by Gil-galad, kissed it again. Then he placed his own hand against the side of Ereinion's face, caressing the warm skin gently. This was followed by the merest shake of his dark head.

"No", he said quietly. "It is unlikely that a healer would kiss the hand of his patient unless he had fallen deeply in love with that particular individual".

Neither of them spoke for several moments. Although time still flowed in the flickering firelight of the little healing shelter for these two high-born elves; their guises as warriors had been cast aside and if the Master of Evil had been resurrected from the dead and presented himself at the entrance to the shelter it is unlikely that either of them would have been aware of it.

Gil-galad inclined his head against Elrond's hand, closing his eyes as he savoured the caresses of the one who had silently yearned for him throughout his innumerable long years and who, at last, had determined to speak aloud of his feelings. His hunger for the touch of his healer deepened; he pressed his lips against the palm of Elrond's hand and the inside of his wrist; astonished that he himself had not given in to the sweetness of such acts before.

Pretence and feigned disinterest had been stripped away from them and something quite different had been left in their place. It was as if more than three thousand years of lost time had been melted away somewhere between their lingering glances and that these had, in turn, banished the lonely barrenness of those years into a cold, dark room, a place which they would only visit again under duress.

"I thought I was dreaming when I heard you say that you loved me, Elrond", breathed Gil-galad. He closed his eyes and then slowly opened them as he continued to shake off the after-effects of his long slumber.

"It was no dream, Ereinion", stated Elrond. His dark grey eyes were solemn yet joyful; Gil-galad had never seen him look quite this way before. "I do love you. I have always loved you. I always will love you".

"As I lay here and look at you, Elrond, I am reminded of the day we first met. I remember precisely how you looked when I found you in that cave. A young child with unruly hair, doing his best to survive under the most precarious of circumstances".

"These thoughts were in my mind also. I was taken back to that very moment as I watched you sleep".

"I recall exactly how I felt in that moment", continued Gil-galad. "My first thought was to ensure that you were no longer exposed to danger. I longed to protect you".

"And now I am overcome with that very same desire".

Gil-galad then turned his head away from Elrond. His expression was grim as he studied the series of poultices which had been carefully applied to the length of his arm.

"Elrond ... I trust that treating my burns did not cause you too much grief?"

Gil-galad's eyes were tender and filled with concern as he looked up at his healer. Elrond cast his own eyes downwards in a vain attempt to mask his hidden pain, an action that did not escape the King's searching sapphire gaze.

"Elrond ....."

Gil-galad reached up and stroked Elrond's hair. Entwining his fingers gently in the long, braided locks, his eyes were at that moment a reflection of the very depths of his soul.

"I am not altogether sure that I am worthy of your love".

Elrond snapped his head up.

"Why do you say such things?" he asked, clearly aghast. "I know of no-one more worthy of love than yourself. You have given so much to the service of others all your life yet have never asked for anything in return. Your devotion to duty and to the care and protection of your people has always been beyond question. Is it not now your turn to be cherished and cared for? Have you not earned that right? Surely at the very least I might be permitted to offer you the love which has remained imprisoned in my heart for so many long, bitter and painful years? And I confess of this love for you freely, Ereinion, without shame and without regret".

"And what of the wife and children you would have had? Would you not have loved them too?"

A heavy grey mist seemed to have descended upon the unadorned confines of the healing shelter. Gil-galad bore the appearance of one who had been presented with a vision of a joyous future, a future which was there for the taking, but one which he could not quite persuade himself to reach out and claim.

"I have never been possessed of the desire to marry", responded Elrond. "Neither have I been approached by the parents of any woman with a view to discussing marriage. And that is the end of the matter as far as I am concerned".

"It is not as simple as that, Elrond", continued Gil-galad sagely. "Two fine sons and a beautiful daughter ... can you really deny them life?"

"Ereinion, I beg of you, do not speak of such things!"

Elrond's calm had deserted him. Agitation had left its mark upon his features and his distress was almost tangible.

"I have never made a proposal of marriage to any woman", he emphasised. "I have not even considered the idea of marriage and I know of no-one to whom I would so wish to offer myself".

"I can think of a number of pretty maids who would be only too willing to be your consort", said Gil-galad, smiling indulgently at Elrond's uncharacteristic flare of anger. "The daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel seems fond of you. Her face positively glows every time she sets eyes upon you".

"Celebrían is a charming young woman but the thought of asking for her hand in marriage has never occurred to me", declared Elrond resolutely. "And I had not noticed this glow you speak of either".

Gil-galad chuckled.

"In any event", continued Elrond crossly. "I would have thought that her parents would prefer that she set her sights upon marrying the King himself rather than his Herald".

"But the King much prefers the company of his Herald to that of the Lady Celebrían", responded Gil-galad. "Indeed, the King prefers the company of his Herald above that of any maiden".

"And the King's Herald feels likewise".

Elrond took a deep breath.

"I have no wish to marry, Ereinion. I have never had any desire to marry a woman and never will. I am not averse to the company of women but, as I have confessed to you, my feelings lay elsewhere. They lay with you and that state of affairs will not alter. I find myself perplexed by the future the hobbits spoke of and know not how such a situation arose. It is my belief, having given a great deal of thought to the matter, that any marriage I entered into must have borne of political necessity rather than love. Had I lost you, my grief would have been immeasurable. It is inconceivable that I would have simply cast aside my love for you and given it instead to another. The very idea fills me with unquenchable sorrow".

Elrond looked directly at the King as he spoke.

"I came close to losing you in battle. Had it not been for the hobbits and the warning they brought us, this would surely have come to pass and I would have been left bereft. I do not wish to live without you. Whilst you slept earlier, I felt the flutter of your living heart within your living body and knew that you had been spared for a reason. I now offer you my heart, Ereinion, to accept or reject as you choose, but even if you decide to reject the love I long to give you my resolve not to marry will remain unaltered. The decision as to our future and whether we spend it together or apart now rests with you".

Gil-galad's eyes had acquired a particular luminosity as he lay there and listened to Elrond's speech. He knew full well that true peace would only come to him through his love for Elrond; he had been aware of this for many years. But he was the High King and his position meant that it was not always possible to do precisely as he wished, a fact that had been instilled in him from a very early age by his father and by his uncle, both of whom had been taken from him far sooner than he would have liked.

A great longing to be caressed by long, gentle fingers and to be held, entranced, in the gaze of calm grey eyes that were filled with love overcame him. Throughout his long and eventful life, Gil-galad had always put duty before pleasure but the vanquishing of Sauron's evil had cast an entirely different light upon his existence. No longer was there a requirement to expend time and energy upon the protection of his people for any danger to which they had in the past been subjected had been removed. The threat of tyranny had disappeared and had taken with it the need for the High King to remain a prisoner within the twin confines of decorum and discretion. A sudden sensation of lightness danced upon his heart and his one need now was to wipe away the sorrow and anxiety which shadowed the face that was so beloved to him.

Gil-galad looked up at Elrond with eyes of liquid sapphire. He then raised his hand and, entwining his fingers in Elrond's hair, slowly pulled him downwards. Neither of them felt inclined to rush the moment that was about to bring them to their first kiss; it was far too rare and precious a time to be hurried. Their faces touched first, a touch which sent a rush of sensations through each of them. Throughout the long years of their friendship they had never been as close as this. Eventually their warm, seeking lips found each other. It was a soft kiss and an extremely tender one, for it was not in the nature of elves to hurl themselves indiscriminately into a passionate situation, no matter how great their longing or how long it had existed. They lingered in this state of newly-discovered intimacy for some time; each of them savouring the blessed moments that had at last combined to bring them together.

Elrond had on occasion been culpable of allowing himself to dream about how it would feel to kiss Gil-galad. Sometimes such thoughts would descend upon him in unguarded moments and he would be left feeling guilty, hurt and confused and altogether embarrassed when he next faced the King. But the reality of the kiss and the sudden surge of excitement that the feel of his beloved's lips against his own arose within him was altogether incredible. If he had harboured strong feelings for Gil-galad prior to the experience of kissing him then they were nothing to compare with the love that surged through him now.

Suddenly conscious of Gil-galad attempting to embrace him with his injured arm, Elrond broke away from him quickly.

"No! Ereinion, keep your arm still, do not attempt to move it", he admonished softly, stroking his King's face with a gentle finger. He leaned across and kissed the back of Ereinion's left hand. "Sudden movements will result in a rush of blood to the site of your injuries and will impede the healing process". Elrond kissed Gil-galad gently upon his forehead, cherishing the warmth and feel of him. "Rest easily, beloved, for it hurts me to see you like this and I long above all things for your speedy recovery".


Chapter 6

"Far be it for me to disobey the orders of my healer", responded Gil-galad. "I would certainly not wish to incur his displeasure lest I should find myself on the receiving end of some unspeakable punishment". A teasing little smile tugged at the corners of his wide mouth.

"The King's healer is also his subject and would refrain from inflicting any such punishment unless the King was in full acquiescence", came Elrond's swift response. The elven lord was managing to keep his face straight but not without difficulty. "What is more the King is naturally free to command his healer if he so wishes".

"Nay, the King seeks not to command the Master of Imladris. He has ever had a will of his own. There is, however, one condition which I require to be satisfied before I agree to keep myself in a state of immobility".

"And what is this condition?"

"That you remain by my side".

"That is a provision I will adhere to readily", confirmed Elrond, his face at last giving way to a relieved smile. "I am consumed with the desire never to leave your side again. All my life I have cherished a need to have you all to myself . However much of your company I was blessed with, it never seemed to me to be enough and I was always left craving more".

"Then perhaps, beloved one, there will soon come a time when we will be able to satisfy this craving of yours".

The heavily sensual overtones which coloured Gil-galad's otherwise straightforward remark resulted in an unfamiliar light-headed sensation for Elrond.

"I believe my heart is beating a little faster", he murmured. "No person has ever affected me as deeply as you".

"Even now, when I am laying here in a state of sickness?"

"Especially now. I have never seen you look at me in this way before".

"Perhaps this is because I am lost in the wonderment of what has happened between us, my dearest Elrond. A future that is unclouded by war and in which we can be together. It almost seems too good to be true".

"But it is true", insisted Elrond. "Our future together is there for the taking. Duty will shortly have to consider itself relegated, for we have now earned the right to call our lives our own".

Gil-galad sighed deeply.

"But I fear I can never be wholly content, Elrond, when I consider what has just come to pass. My friend Elendil is dead and a great burden of guilt rests upon me. I feel as though I was responsible for allowing him to go to his death and that, with the knowledge I carried, it could have been prevented".

"That is untrue", responded Elrond indignantly. "You and I, together with Círdan, discussed everything that the hobbits had told us about how the Ring came into Isildur's possession and we all agreed that events as recorded by history must be allowed to take their course. Had Elendil not stepped forward when he did, Isildur would not have been availed of the opportunity to cut the Ring from the hand of Sauron".

"Elendil stepped forward when I fell". A bitter shadow had fallen upon Gil-galad's fair visage. "I feel I should have done something to prevent his death".

"There was nothing you could have done", insisted Elrond. "Just imagine the repercussions had he not attempted to tackle Sauron. The Dark Lord would still be in possession of his Ring, to the detriment of us all. Indeed, I do not think either of us would be here now had that particular scenario come to pass, for the power of the Abhorred One was such that we did not have the strength to fight it.

"I genuinely believe that Elendil would consider the sacrifice of his life not to have been in vain", continued Elrond earnestly. "He has paid a high price but his two sons both live and they will, I foresee, rule with wisdom and fortitude. Their kingdoms will be great. The Sons of Elendil will carry their father's spirit within them and this, in turn, will be passed on to their own sons. Their work will serve as the foundation for peace throughout the whole of Middle-earth".

"The words you speak are no lie yet ..... yet still any feeling of triumph I might enjoy as a result of Sauron's demise is saddened by the knowledge that I have lived whilst my friend has died. The lifespan is a mortal is short, even that of the long-lived Númenoreans, and I feel as though I have denied him the years that were left to him".

"You have denied him nothing", argued Elrond. "He was a brave warrior and he made his own choices. Do you really believe that, had he known of the events that were to take place, his actions would have been any different? Had the history recounted to us by the hobbits followed its course then both you and he would have been slain. You have been spared and I beg of you, beloved, not to allow yourself to be tormented in any way for you are guilty of nothing".

"Those last moments played upon my mind constantly as we were making our way to the Crack of Doom with the hobbits", said Gil-galad. He stared into the fire for a few moments, deep in thought. "It is possible that Elendil could have fallen even if he had not stepped forward to engage Sauron in combat. And I cannot help but wonder whether one of the main reasons Sauron entered the battleground was to rid the Alliance of its leadership".

"Exactly", said Elrond. "He wished to weaken our armies by removing their Commanders. Sauron attacked you with a bolt of fire even though you did not attempt to engage him in single combat. He would have launched a similar attack upon Elendil". Elrond paused for a moment, remaining silent whilst the events in question ticked over in his mind. "I too greatly grieve the passing of Elendil" he said softly. "He was the finest of men. But we must accept that what has taken place in the past was necessary for the greater good and cannot now be undone".

It was in the nature of elves to care for the suffering of others and although his revisiting of the battle's final moments with Elrond had helped ease his torment, Gil-galad knew he would not be able to simply dismiss Elendil's death without grieving. The long war which had been fought to its conclusion upon the Plateau of Gorgoroth had ultimately brought triumph to the Alliance of Elves and Men yet they had paid for their victory with the loss of many of their colleagues.

Gil-galad had fought too many battles to know that there was never any gain without some loss. He turned his head to look at Elrond. A sense of peace and calm gradually overtook him as he gazed into his healer's calm, grey eyes. He felt truly blessed in that moment, for he knew that he would not have to bear his burdens alone. Elrond's understanding of him was something he had always cherished, and the fact that the two of them had finally committed themselves to one another could result only in an even deeper level of understanding between them. The two elves embraced, each of them both seeking and drawing comfort.

"It pleases me greatly that the hobbits emerged from the encounter unscathed", said Gil-galad, after the two of them had drawn apart. "You were always so sure that they would find their way to the battlefield".

Elrond smiled as he recalled the cheerless day that he, Gil-galad and the rest of the elven army had ridden out of Imladris, bidding farewell to Frodo and Sam as they did so.

"I believe that Frodo decided to come to Mordor in order to see the Ring destroyed for himself. He knew only too well what would happen if it fell into the hands of Isildur and was determined not to allow that to happen".

"I wonder if his decision to come here was a conscious or subconscious one", mused Gil-galad. "I cannot believe that he and Sam made their preparations without firstly giving it a great deal of thought. But whatever the reasoning behind their decision, we have much to thank them for, do we not?"

There had been many discussions between Gil-galad, Círdan and Elrond about what would happen once Isildur had cut the Ring of Evil from the hand of its master. They had agreed, at length, that in all probability they would be faced with the choice of either escorting Isildur to the Crack of Doom and forcing him to cast away the Ring or else taking the Ring from him and attending to the task themselves. They were all wary, however, of the Ring's ability to ensnare its bearer and it was this that they most feared, especially as all three of these high-born elves had themselves borne Rings of Power.

Gil-galad had been adamant that he would not allow either Elrond or Círdan to take responsibility for destroying the Ring. They were his closest friends; he cared about them deeply and under no circumstances would he consider delegating such an onerous duty to either of them. Further, he was unwilling to risk harm to either of the hobbits and that left him with but one alternative.

As luck would have it, Frodo had found his way to the battlefield and snatched up the Ring before Isildur could reach it, thus avoiding any need for the Dúnadan to become involved in the proceedings. After ascending to the Crack of Doom, he and Sam had then managed to summon up sufficient courage and willpower to perform the remarkable feat of hurling the Ring into the chasm.

Gil-galad had experienced no inclination to possess the Ring during the short time he was exposed to its presence. He had been aware of the existence of the Ruling Ring for many years, although until the remarkable change in fate brought about by the hobbits' unforeseen appearance, he had not expected to come into close contact with it. And High King Ereinion Gil-galad, noble elf that he was, would gladly have sacrificed himself to the flames of Orodruin if this had been the only way of ridding the world of evil.

"The Ring has gone", declared Gil-galad firmly. "It will trouble us no more and we have much to be thankful for".

Elrond was pleased to see that Gil-galad was no longer allowing his mind to dwell on thoughts of what might have been. It was not an easy task for him to put the matter of a friend's death out of his mind but elves had their own way of dealing with such things and no more was spoken of Elendil's passing that day.

"You should try and rest a little more", declared Elrond. Although he was holding the King's hand, he had slipped once again into the guise of healer. "Proper slumber is what you need. You awoke early from the healing spell and a further period of sleep will be of benefit to you".

Gil-galad looked up at Elrond with sleepy, half-closed eyes. A transient little smile illuminated not only his handsome face but also the whole of the healing shelter.

"I will obey my healer's wishes", he began drowsily. "But once again only if my healer agrees to a certain condition".

"And what is that?"

Elrond's face reflected a mixture of both patience and love. He smiled indulgently, feeling as though he needed nothing more from life than the warmth and company of the man who was lying next to him.

"The condition is that you take some rest too".

Gil-galad raised his hand, signifying that he would brook no argument.

"You are exhausted. You have taken no rest for many days and nights and it is beginning to take its toll upon you, dearest one. I want you to refresh yourself too; do you not deserve to lay your head down and close your eyes against all that has happened?"

"Círdan told me to rest earlier", mused Elrond, taking Gil-galad's hand again. "But I could not. I could not draw my eyes from you. I was mesmerised by you. And you had not then awakened from your healing slumber. I was concerned lest there be some complication".

"But now you know there is none", said Gil-galad. "I am awake and I am well on the way to being my old self. It is just a matter of time before I am walking again, is it not?"

Elrond gave the briefest of nods.

"I do not wish you to rush your recovery", he said. "There is time enough for you to heal safely and in peace here".

"But do you not wish to return to Imladris as soon as possible?" asked Gil-galad. A sensual smile spread slowly across his face. "I for one feel there are good reasons why we should not delay our departure for any longer than is absolutely necessary".

"And I too", responded Elrond. "But not at the expense of your well-being, my love, of that I am determined. The craving to which I referred earlier can wait a little longer to be satisfied, I assure you".

"I am gravely disappointed in you, Elrond. I had not realised your stubbornness extended to such lengths".

"Stubborn? Me? I am not stubborn".

"Yes you are".

"No I am not".

"Well, you certainly were as a child. I remember a time when ....."

But Gil-galad did not get a chance to finish what he had began to say for Elrond had placed a gentle hand over his lips.

"Quiet. On the orders of your healer".

"Rest. On the orders of your King".

Elrond laid himself comfortably by Gil-galad's side. The two of them arranged themselves so that Gil-galad was resting his head in the crook of Elrond's arm, a simple enough act but one which spread feelings of warmth, contentment and closeness through both of them. The glow of the fire deepened to a dark orange as the logs burned down and neither of them spoke for the remainder of the evening. Words had been rendered unnecessary with the passing of but a little time since their declaration of love to one another.

Surprisingly it was Elrond who fell asleep first. The sound of his breathing deepening and lengthening brought peace to Gil-galad, whose concerns over Elrond's high rate of activity were very genuine. Satisfied that the man to whom he had pledged his heart was now resting comfortably, his own eyelids fluttered closed and moments later he had drifted into the deepest of slumbers.

Later on that evening Círdan stepped quietly into the shelter. A satisfied smile instantly imprinted itself upon his face as he took in the sight of Gil-galad and Elrond resting together in what could only be described as a lovers' embrace.

"At last", he murmured, before exiting the shelter and silently emerging into the dark of Mordor's night.

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