After selecting a book from Erestor's collection, Elrohir sat down, reading quietly whilst Erestor slept.
Hearing a tormented groan, he looked up and found that Erestor was struggling with the blankets, trying to throw them off. Elrohir placed the book aside, leaned in closer, and gently pried the blankets from Erestor's hands. Suddenly the counselor's eyes opened, and fear stared back at him. Elrohir drew in a deep breath, sensing the other's panic. "You are in your rooms, mellon-nîn. There is no reason to feel threatened."
Erestor continued to stare at Elrohir, trying to figure out what the twin was doing in his rooms. Suddenly he realized that Elrohir had a hold on his hands, rubbing his skin. His first instinct was to pull back, but he was too tired to move. "Why are you still here?"
"I am keeping an eye on you. I am worried, you know." Elrohir smiled reassuringly. "You would be more comfortable in bed, don't you think?" He hoped Erestor would take the hint and agree to go back to sleep.
Erestor's gaze traveled from Elrohir to his bed. He couldn't deny he longed to lie down and return to sleep. He nodded slowly, agreeing to Elrohir's suggestion.
"Let me help you." Elrohir released Erestor's hands, but remained close, just in case the elder Elf stumbled. He escorted Erestor to the bed, wrapping one arm around the Elf's shoulder when the counselor swayed. "Sit down." They had reached the bed and Erestor allowed Elrohir to help him lie down. "Aren't those robes uncomfortable? Do you have a sleeping robe? I can help you change into it."
"No, no sleeping robe!" Erestor's voice shook. "I am fine."
Elrohir sat down on the edge of the bed, covering Erestor with a warm blanket. "I know you do not want to discuss personal matters, but—" he paused, and the frightened expression in Erestor's eyes almost made him change his mind, but in the end he continued, "I want to know why you flinch every time I touch you. Are you afraid of me?"
Erestor averted his eyes, stared at the ceiling momentarily and then began to roll onto his side, away from Elrohir. But the twin wouldn't let him and placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping him from moving away. "Please tell me, Erestor."
"I cannot talk about this," said Erestor in a choked tone. "Do not make me."
Elrohir took pity on the trembling Elf and let Erestor roll away from him. "I was right; there is something that upsets you."
"Let it go." Erestor's voice was barely audible. What use was there in dragging up the past? "You do not have to stay. I am sure Elladan is already looking for you."
"He knows I am here, and so do Ada and Glorfindel."
Erestor closed his eyes. Why was everyone so interested in him? He hoped things would quickly settle down and return to normal. At least he could go back to carrying out his duties tomorrow; then the commotion about him would die. "You do not have to stay here," he repeated, hoping Elrohir would leave him alone.
"But I want to stay." Elrohir, fed up with Erestor's behavior, walked over to the other side of the bed and sat on his heels so he was level with the elder Elf. He was going to do what Glorfindel had suggested; follow his instincts, and they told him he couldn't allow this kind of behavior, not if he wanted Erestor to take him seriously. "You cannot lock me out like that. I won't put up with it."
Erestor's eyes widened. He must have misheard! "What did you say?"
"I won't allow you to push me away again. I got close to you when I was little, but then you put all this distance between us. I want that old, comfortable feeling back." Elrohir slowly raised his hand, saw apprehension in Erestor's eyes, and gently placed his palm on the raven hair, stroking soothingly. "You know you can trust me."
Erestor closed his eyes, enjoying the touch, but he was unable to admit it to Elrohir. "I will go back to sleep now."
"Good." Elrohir smiled warmly, and waited for Erestor to open his eyes again. When they did, he searched those dark eyes and encountered a fearful apprehension in them.
Erestor was doing his best to trust Elrohir, but some of his memories were stronger than his desire to trust and warned him to not take this step. He was setting himself up for more hurt and he should know better than that. "Why won't you leave me alone, caun-nîn?"
Hearing that term brought back memories and Elrohir swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. "You called me that when I was little and upset, crying, because Elladan had gone off without me. I missed hearing it."
Erestor sighed, distressed, realizing he had accomplished the opposite of what he had intended. Now Elrohir was even more determined to stay. He shouldn't have said a thing!
"Why don't you go to sleep? You had an exhausting day." The trip from the Healing House to his rooms must have drained Erestor. He kept up the soothing caress to Erestor's hair, always aware of the scars the long tresses were hiding. "I will stay close so when you wake up you won't be alone."
Erestor was at a loss for words. Elrohir's determination was obvious and he gave in, knowing he wouldn't be able to change the half-Elf's mind.
Elrohir smiled, saddened, seeing the apprehensive expression in Erestor's eyes. "Go to sleep, and rest." Erestor's eyes became vacant and Elrohir sighed, relieved that the elder Elf was asleep again. His breath caught when a sleeping Erestor involuntarily leaned into the caress, rubbing his head against the palm of his hand. Tears formed in Elrohir's eyes, but he forced them back.
He was slowly beginning to understand how Erestor's mind worked. You really never knew any love, did you? What was your father like when you were growing up? Did he show you any affection at all? It fed his determination to prove to Erestor that he was different; that he wanted to share his feelings with the elder Elf. Getting through to you will take time, but we have plenty of it.
A soft knock on the door drew Elrohir's attention and he was about to answer when the door opened, revealing Elrond. "Ada!" He was glad to see his father and hurried toward him.
Elrond sensed his son's emotional turmoil and opened his arms, hugging Elrohir close. "What is wrong?"
"Erestor is." Elrohir pulled back, realizing he needed to explain. "He finally fell asleep, but he cried in my arms. He even called me "caun-nîn", which he has not done for years."
"You are doing very well, Elrohir. You found a way to reach him, but this must be emotionally taxing on you." Elrond worriedly looked at his son. "I can sit with Erestor if you would like me to." To his delight, Elrohir shook his head.
"No, I want to stay close. I would worry about him otherwise." Elrohir guided his father to the chair near the fireplace, where they sat down. He told Elrond everything that had happened and waited for his father to address him.
"Continue with what you are doing, for it is working. Erestor is finally realizing he cannot push you away that easily, and now he will try even harder, believe me. If we are right and Erestor never had a loving parent, your behavior will puzzle him. He does not know what if feels like to be fussed over." Elrond's gaze became soft, looking at his counselor. "I should not have let this continue for so long, but I never knew what to do."
Elrohir leaned in closer and placed his hand on Elrond's knee. "Ada, you did what you thought was right. And Erestor did not want you to contact his father; there was little you could do."
"I worked on strengthening his self esteem. He was afraid to say a single word when he arrived in Imladris." Elrond smiled in spite of their problems. "He has come a long way since."
Elrohir returned his father's smile. "He is your chief counselor now, no easy feat."
"He has gained countless skills since he sought refuge here. Erestor is smart, cunning and devious when he needs to deal with an opponent, but he never allowed his feelings to show. I wish I could help him." Elrond looked at Elrohir, hope blossoming in his heart. "He always had a soft spot for you."
"Glorfindel is also trying hard to reach Erestor."
"But I fear his mission is doomed to fail. Erestor does not trust him, but he does trust you." Elrond paused momentarily. "I hope Erestor and Glorfindel can become friends, maybe become as close as brothers. Erestor desperately needs friends." Elrond rose to his feet again. "Are you sure you do not want me to stay?"
"I can manage," said Elrohir, "And you need to make arrangements for Thranduil and Eridhren's stay. Unexpectedly, his eyes darkened. "If his father really did hurt Erestor..." He didn't have to finish his sentence, knowing his father understood.
"We will be careful." Elrond walked toward the doorway and looked over his shoulder at Erestor before stepping into the corridor. The counselor was sound asleep and had curled up on his left side, tightly hugging the blanket. I really hope Glorfindel and you will get through to him.
Elrond closed the door behind him and Elrohir sat down on the edge of Erestor's bed, caressing the elder Elf's hair. "Sleep tight, Erestor. I hope Elbereth will grant you pleasant dreams. She knows you deserve them."
He moved back to the chairs, sat down, and rested his feet on the seat of the other chair, stretching comfortably. From his position he had a perfect view of Erestor's face and he could reach the dark-haired Elf within a heartbeat, if necessary. Dealing with Erestor's hurt had drained him and he dozed off into sleep.
Erestor tiptoed through his chambers, determined to not wake Elrohir, who was still fast asleep. His sleep had been undisturbed, something that didn't happen very often. Usually he needed to drink some herbal tea before being able to fall asleep. Waking up, he had quickly located Elrohir, and wondered if the twin's presence had ensured his peaceful sleep.
Moving soundlessly, he had changed into clean robes, had combed his hair, making sure the tresses covered up the scars, and now headed for the doorway. He felt guilty for taking up so much of Elrohir's time. The half-Elf should be asleep in his bed, not in an uncomfortable chair!
His head slumped in defeat, recalling his emotional outburst last night. He had desperately clung to Elrohir, sobbing when his pain had gotten the better of him. I never wanted him to see me like that! Elrohir probably thought he was weak, vulnerable. He could never cave in like that again.
Closing the door behind him, he left Elrohir to his dreams and started down the corridor. Involuntarily he pressed his hand against his abdomen, still worried that the wound might reopen, although Elrond had assured him that it had closed and wouldn't open again; it was a subconscious reflex.
He was panting hard when he finally reached Elrond's study. Pausing momentarily, he leaned against the wall to gather his strength before venturing inside. There was probably a pile of paperwork waiting for him. After regulating his breathing, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Elrond and Glorfindel looked up, when the door unexpectedly opened. They expected to see Elladan, but certainly not Erestor. Glorfindel was the first to react, seeing the cold sweat that had formed on Erestor's brow.
"What are you doing here, Erestor?" Glorfindel got to his feet and walked toward the counselor.
Erestor absentmindedly noticed that although Glorfindel limped, he no longer needed a crutch to support him.
"Erestor, you should be resting!" Elrond now joined them as well, reaching out and placing one hand on Erestor's shoulder. He grew saddened at feeling tremors course through Erestor's body, but didn't remove his hand. "I told you to stay in bed and rest!"
"I am doing much better. I can return to my work." Erestor met Glorfindel's gaze. It was impossible not to; the blond was standing right in front of him with a concerned look in his eyes.
Glorfindel was about to announce that he was going to escort Erestor back to his rooms when the door suddenly opened again.
Elrohir stormed inside, wide-eyed and panicking. "Erestor, is he..." His voice faded, seeing Erestor standing in front of Elrond's desk. "You sneaked out on me!"
Erestor cringed, seeing the disappointment in Elrohir's eyes. "I did not want to wake you. You were finally asleep and—"
"You are coming with me, now," said Elrohir, cutting Erestor short. "Ada?" He looked to his father for help.
"Elrohir is right; you still need to rest. Remember, it was the one condition on which I allowed you to leave the Healing House. You won't return to work for at least four more days. Now go."
Erestor stared at Elrond in disbelief. "I am no longer wounded! Glorfindel has returned to his duties as well!"
"Glorfindel broke a leg; you almost bled to death. There is a distinct difference between the two of them." Elrond's voice grew louder, revealing his frustration and the half-Elf was shocked to see the effect it had on Erestor, who seemed to shrink into himself and was backing away from him, stumbling toward the doorway.
Erestor accidentally bumped into Glorfindel, who had moved behind him and released a strangled whimper. What was wrong with him? He had never been this emotional before. Somehow he had to reestablish control over his raging emotions!
Elrond regretted raising his voice and sighed dejectedly. "Erestor, I apologize. I had no reason to address you in that manner." Searching Erestor's eyes, he found that the fear was still there. "But I find it frustrating that you are not cooperating. I am confining you to bed for your own good."
Erestor fought the panic that was building in him; Elrond had never before raised his voice at him! "I will return to my rooms then," said he in a shaky tone. Unexpectedly, an arm folded itself around his waist, and he instantly moved away.
"Erestor?" Elrohir cringed, seeing Erestor move away. "It is me. You can trust me, remember?"
Erestor hated himself for showing his emotions like that. Why couldn't he put them back into those dark corners of his mind and go back to wearing his mask of indifference?
"Come with me, Erestor." Elrohir kept his arm around Erestor's waist, refusing to give in to the elder Elf's fear.
Erestor allowed himself to be led into the corridor, and, feeling bewildered, he realized that Elrond and Glorfindel were right behind him, following him back to his rooms. His hands began to shake and his teeth chattered, wondering why they were tagging along.
Elrohir guided Erestor to the bed and told him to sit down. Erestor's eyes were distant and Elrohir took hold of his former mentor's feet, lifting them.
Erestor lay down and stared at the ceiling, trying hard to pretend he was alone. Listening to their concerned voices, he wondered why they were this concerned about him. If only they left him alone! Then he would be able to rebuild his old walls and hide behind them.
"I will stay with him," said Elrohir firmly, "He won't succeed in getting past me unnoticed again!"
Elrond and Glorfindel exchanged a look. They had to be more careful in future; when Erestor had entered, they had been discussing Thranduil and Eridhren's upcoming visit.
Erestor tiredly closed his eyes. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? They had never bothered to find out more about him before! Why start now? Listening to their footsteps, he realized that Elrond and Glorfindel had finally left.
"Erestor? Why did you leave? Ada told you to rest. Are you so determined to wreck your health?" Erestor knelt next to Erestor's bed and resumed stroking the long, loose hair. "Don't you want to make a complete recovery?"
"I am no longer injured. I have healed."
Elrohir's features contorted, hearing Erestor's soft, pleading tone. He only recognized it too well; he himself had used that tone when trying to wind his father around his little finger. "Believe my father when he says that you need rest. He is a very accomplished healer. Trust in his judgment." Erestor's eyes swam with unshed tears and Elrohir involuntarily held his breath when the elder Elf spoke again.
"But I do not want to be alone with my thoughts, or my memories." Erestor wished he could take those words back. What had possessed him to speak them aloud? But he wanted to trust in Elrohir so badly. All those centuries of loneliness and hurt were taking their toll on him. He didn't want to be alone any longer.
"What thoughts? What memories?" probed Elrohir in a soft tone. "You can entrust them to me. Maybe if you talk about them they will lose their hold on you."
"No, I cannot speak them aloud." Erestor frantically shook his head. "I cannot share them with anyone."
"Why?"
Erestor's mouth went dry, seeing the pleading expression Elrohir's eyes. What was it about the half-Elf that made him want to trust him so badly? Maybe it was because of the way Elrohir had looked at him, when the twin had been a baby. Utter trust had shone from those large eyes and they had instantly won him over. "Do not ask me to tell you."
Elrohir moistened his lips, realizing he could scare Erestor away with his next question. So before asking it, he made sure he still had eye contact with the elder Elf and continued to caress the dark strands of hair. "Does it have to do with something that happened in your youth? The time before you came to Imladris? Where did you live? With whom?" Erestor tensed under his touch and he stopped, giving the other Elf time to react.
"Why are you asking me those questions? What do you know?" Erestor panicked, struggled into an upright position and shook off Elrohir's hand.
"Please calm down," whispered Elrohir, who now claimed Erestor's hand, rubbing the skin. "I am worried about you, and Ada told me how timid and insecure you were when you arrived here. It made me wonder."
"Elrond should not have told you any of that!" Erestor stared at Elrohir's hand holding onto his. "I do not want to discuss my past."
Elrohir nodded once. "I will not question you any further if you answer me one more question." He knew he was playing dirty, but all means were allowed whilst getting Erestor to confide in him. Erestor's big eyes sought out his and he could feel the elder Elf's hand tremble, cradled in his.
"What question?" Erestor's voice shook violently. He couldn't believe this was actually happening! How had Elrohir gotten him to answer his questions?
Elrohir tenderly rubbed the skin of Erestor's hand. "Who hurt you so badly that you are unable to trust?"
Erestor released a choked whimper. He stared at Elrohir in disbelief. "Why ask me that?"
Realizing he had crossed a line, Elrohir said, "Let me rephrase my question. Did someone hurt you in the past? Taking away your ability to trust? All you have to say is yes or no. I do not need any names..." Yet." Holding Erestor's gaze prisoner with his own, he looked pleadingly at the Noldorin Elf. "Just tell me."
Erestor wasn't sure if he could lie to Elrohir. The younger Elf seemed truly concerned and was still holding his hand. Elrohir's eyes never strayed from his, giving him the strength he needed to face the horrible truth. "Yes," he admitted in a pained tone. "But please do not ask me any more questions."
Elrohir nodded in understanding. "Thank you for telling me. You confirmed something we already suspected."
"We?" Erestor started, alarmed.
"Ada, Glorfindel and I. Even Elladan realizes something is wrong." Elrohir frowned. "I am surprised he has not shown up here yet." But he was grateful for that; he wasn't sure if Erestor would welcome another guardian.
"Why are all of you so... worried?" Erestor actually had to search for the right word.
"Because we care about you." Elrohir realized that concept might be alien to Erestor, if Eridhren had mistreated his son in the past and Erestor had grown up without a mother to support and love him. It was time to take away the pressure and change their subject. "Are you tired?"
Erestor nodded reluctantly. The trip to Elrond's study had tired him.
"Then try to rest." Elrohir wanted to get to his feet, but realized that Erestor had a tight hold on his hand, refusing to let go. "Everything will be fine in the end," promised he softly, "Just put your trust in us."
"In Elrond, Glorfindel, Elladan and you?" Erestor's eyes radiated hope.
Elrohir smiled warmly. "Sounds like an interesting family to be part of, does it not?" Elrohir was unprepared for Erestor's emotional reaction.
Tears flowed down Erestor's face and he pushed himself into a sitting position, staring hopefully at Elrohir. "Did you mean that?"
"Aiya, Erestor, you never were part of a real family before?" Elrohir, realizing this was Erestor's way of reaching out, buried the elder Elf in a hug. "Then it starts now."
Erestor clung to Elrohir whilst weeping softly, allowing the younger Elf to soothe him. It was what he had always wanted; a caring family. Had he really achieved the impossible?
Elrohir mumbled softly, reassuring Erestor that they cared about him. His worry increased; it almost seemed like Erestor was becoming increasingly emotional. But of course. I broke down his defenses and he feels helpless now. The mask of indifference is gone and out of his reach.
"Rest now, and sleep." He lowered Erestor onto the bed, allowing the elder Elf to continue to hold his hand. After pulling up a chair, he settled down and whispered, "I will remain close."
Erestor's eyes spoke of eternal gratitude before turning vacant and once the counselor was asleep, Elrohir released his own tears, which he had been holding back.
Glorfindel opened the door and peeked inside. Elrohir was sitting next to the bed, holding Erestor's hand, who was still asleep. He wished he didn't have to disturb the peaceful scene, but Erestor needed to know that Eridhren would arrive tomorrow, accompanying Thranduil. Elrond and he had discussed how to break the news to Erestor, and they had decided Glorfindel would handle matters. Should the blond fail, or need Elrond's assistance after all, he would take Erestor to the half-Elf's study where the three of them would talk.
"Elrohir?" Glorfindel entered, closed the door behind him, and tiptoed over to the young half-Elf who was rising to his feet to meet him. Elrohir looked drained, which worried him. "How does Erestor fare?" His gaze shifted to the sleeping Elf, relieved to find the handsome features relaxed.
"He admitted that someone has hurt him in the past, but he refused to give me a name," said Elrohir, tiredly rubbing his temples. He needed some time to take a bath, sleep and recharge.
Glorfindel's expression darkened at hearing one of his worst fears confirmed. Forcing himself to focus on Elrohir, he said, "You look tired."
"I feel tired," confirmed Elrohir. "I am glad I stayed with him, but making him talk is draining me."
"Why don't you return to your rooms and rest? I am sure Elladan misses your company."
"I cannot do that." Elrohir looked worriedly at Erestor. "I cannot leave him alone right now."
"I will stay with him," said Glorfindel reassuringly. "I will watch him closely and make sure no harm comes to him. I need to talk to him anyway. Erestor still does not know his father will arrive tomorrow."
Elrohir moistened his lips, feeling nervous. "That news might upset Erestor. I have the feeling that his father did not treat him kindly." Elrohir yawned, and he quickly covered his mouth with his hand.
"You need rest. Go now and know that Erestor is in the best hands." Glorfindel wrapped an arm around Elrohir's shoulder and guided him toward the doorway. "Take your time to rest. I will stay with Erestor, so do not worry about him."
Elrohir nodded, giving Glorfindel a thankful look. "I will check on him later."
Glorfindel opened the door and stepped aside to let Elrohir pass. "Elladan is probably already eagerly awaiting your return to your rooms."
Elrohir, fatigued, nodded again and headed for his rooms. After Glorfindel closed the door behind the twin, he headed back to the bed and sat down on the chair that Elrohir had just vacated. He took a moment to study the dark-haired Elf. Traces of tears still lingered on Erestor's face, and a fiercely protective feeling blossomed in his heart. I will keep you safe, mellon-nîn.
Elrohir opened the door to the rooms, which he shared with his brother, and immediately headed for his bed. Collapsing tiredly, he dropped face forward onto it.
"It looks like Erestor gave you a hard time."
Elrohir lifted his head and looked at Elladan, who lay comfortably on his bed. "Brother, you have no idea..." His voice faded as he buried his face in the mattress.
Elladan left his bed and sat down next to his brother. "You are tired. You should sleep."
"Believe me, I am planning to sleep." Elrohir suddenly felt his brother's hands on him, removing his outer robes. He allowed Elladan to manhandle him until the robes were gone, and then sighed contently as his twin covered him with warm blankets. At times like these he was glad he had a brother who cared this greatly about him. "Thank you, Elladan," he whispered, voice slightly slurred due to impending sleep.
Elladan smiled, tucked him in, and placed a brotherly kiss on Elrohir's hair. "Sleep, then." Elrohir's contented moan made him smile and Elladan returned to his own bed. He settled down with a book, occasionally looking at Elrohir to make sure his twin was peacefully asleep. His thoughts drifted away from Elrohir and to Erestor. He hoped he would get the chance to befriend the elder Elf as well.
Glorfindel felt content watching Erestor, studying all lines that were etched onto the Elf's brow, which now showed in sleep. He felt worried; how was he going to tell Erestor that Eridhren was about to arrive?
Erestor's eyes regained their sparkle and slowly focused on him. Glorfindel smiled, leaned in closer, and said, "I hope you slept well."
Erestor blinked a few times and then pushed himself onto his elbows, staring at Glorfindel. "Where is Elrohir? Why are you here?" His eyes searched his rooms, but failed to locate the younger twin. In the end, his gaze settled questioningly on Glorfindel.
"I sent Elrohir to his rooms to sleep." A stunning smile flashed across his features, directed at Erestor. "You must be going mad, being confined to your rooms."
Erestor frowned. He had expected more questions, but Glorfindel's mood seemed chipper and pleasant, which suited him. He was getting weary of all questions being thrown at him. "That is why I wanted to return to my duties."
Glorfindel grinned, bemused. "We could disobey Elrond's orders and just leave."
Erestor, totally baffled at hearing Glorfindel's suggestion, stared wide-eyed at the blond. "You want to defy him?" He vividly remembered Elrond raising his voice earlier. "I was under the distinct impression that you wanted me to stay in my rooms as well."
"Maybe I changed my mind?" Before coming to Erestor's rooms he had decided on a more relaxed approach, wanting to reassure Erestor he was safe with him. If Erestor felt cornered, the Noldorin Elf would never confide in him.
Glorfindel raised his hand and hoped Erestor would take it. "We could go for a walk in the gardens. The night is dark, and without a moon to light its surface. Elrond won't notice our presence in the gardens."
Erestor stared at the offered limb. Glorfindel had offered him a truce before— maybe it was Elrohir's influence on him, but he found himself reaching out and curling his fingers around the blond's. Glorfindel's smile was dazzling, and Erestor smiled weakly, surprised that he had the power to put that smile on Glorfindel's face.
He truly appreciated the fact that Glorfindel wasn't firing more questions at him and letting him set the pace. As the blond rose from his chair, Erestor got to his feet as well, blushing slightly because Glorfindel was still holding his hand. A strange feeling coursed through him, making him light-headed. Elrohir's company and reassurance had taken away some of his fears and he felt like trusting the blond. Glorfindel was an honorable warrior and was now making a serious effort to be a friend. He could almost hear Elrohir's voice in the back of his head; Why would you not trust him? Give yourself a chance to build this friendship.
Glorfindel, seeing the distant expression in Erestor's dark eyes, waited patiently for the dark-haired counselor to move. What was Erestor thinking?
Erestor shook himself from his musings and hesitantly made eye contact with Glorfindel. He had no idea why the blond wanted to be his friend, but for the first time since his arrival at Imladris as an Elfling, he felt like trusting someone. "Do you really want to go to the gardens?" The thought of sneaking out of his rooms appealed to him.
"Let us go." Glorfindel curled his fingers tightly around Erestor's and pulled him with him when he headed for the doorway. "But we should move silently."
Erestor shook his head. Glorfindel was acting like an Elfling, sneaking out on his parents -- and the blond's playful mood was catching!
Glorfindel's breath caught, seeing one of Erestor's rare smiles surface on the other Elf's face. He looks younger when he smiles. It chases away the lines of worry etched on his brow. "Come with me, mellon-nîn. It is a beautiful night and it would be a waste to stay inside."
Erestor gathered his robes around him and allowed Glorfindel to pull him along. The blond mystified him. Only a few weeks ago Glorfindel had avoided his company! And I did my best to keep him at a distance. When did my walls tumble down? Elrohir had a lot to do with that; the younger half-Elf had shown him he was still capable of showing his emotions.
They finally stepped outside, under a dark, but star-speckled sky. Erestor drew in a deep breath, feeling free now that he was in the open. Glorfindel continued to pull him along, and the blond guided him to one of Celebrian's gardens. The she-Elf had planted a sea of flowers here during her stay in Imladris, and they still blossomed each year, filling the air with heavy, sweet fragrances. Did Glorfindel know he came here in the past? Was that why the blond had taken him here?
Glorfindel suddenly stopped walking, sat down, and then lay flat on his back, watching the stars. Erestor nervously looked about, wondering what he was supposed to do now.
"Mellon-nîn, join me and watch the stars tonight." Glorfindel looked at the dark-haired Elf with obvious hope in his eyes. He patted the earth next to him and hoped Erestor would lie down as well.
Erestor wavered momentarily, but then slowly lay down, joining Glorfindel in the reverie of the stars. He had to admit it was a stunning sight. The stars sparkled brightly and made him smile in appreciation.
"It is a beautiful night," whispered Glorfindel, now cocking his head to look at Erestor. He saw an admiring expression in the other Elf's eyes and smiled. "When was the last time you took the time to look at the stars?"
Erestor suddenly felt nervous. "I never did."
Glorfindel gave him a look filled with disbelief. "Never?"
"Never." Erestor grew aware of the earth and grass beneath him. Trees whispered an ancient melody and even the stars seemed to sing their own song. Tears gathered in his eyes; had he ever felt this peaceful before?
"Erestor? Are you crying?" Glorfindel rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow to look at Erestor.
"You are correct," said Erestor in an emotional tone, "the night is beautiful."
And you are beautiful, in your sorrow and pain— but I want them gone from your soul. You should be happy and at peace instead. Glorfindel's mood darkened, recalling why he had brought Erestor here. I cannot tell him Eridhren will arrive tomorrow. This is not the right time. He would take Elrond up on his offer and they would inform Erestor together. "It is amazing," started Glorfindel tentatively, "we lived here for centuries and I cannot remember us having a serious and polite conversation before."
"I apologize for my sharp tongue," said Erestor ruefully. "It was directed at you too often for no apparent reason."
Glorfindel decided against asking more questions. It would be best if Erestor turned to him willingly instead of being forced to answer questions which he dreaded. "Elrohir is rather worried about you."
"I never thought he would be that concerned." Erestor's fingers moved through the grass, enjoying the sensation. "I never expected it."
Glorfindel chose his next words carefully. "All four of us care for you, Erestor."
"I did not make things easy on you." Erestor was surprised at the mellow tone of their conversation. He actually liked talking to Glorfindel! "I will try to be more... approachable."
Glorfindel realized how much courage it had taken for Erestor to make that particular step, and looked into the dark eyes, which seemed a little less haunted. "Maybe Elrond will get his wish anyway, and we will become good friends. I would really like that."
Erestor blushed slightly. He couldn't believe that he was about to make this admission. "I never had a friend."
Glorfindel's heart contracted with sorrow; he had almost expected Erestor to say something like that, but actually hearing it hurt him even deeper. He has been in Imladris for so long and I never realized how lonely he was. He was determined to make up for his past mistakes. "Elrond asked me to pay him a visit tonight. Would you like to come as well?"
Erestor averted his eyes and stared at the stars. Why would Glorfindel invite him to come along? He knew that the two Elves like to spend the evening in each other's company, and he had never been invited before. "Are you sure you want me there? That Elrond wants me there?"
The tone of Erestor's voice almost moved Glorfindel to tears, hearing the loneliness and disbelief in it. He wished that there were no ulterior reason to ask Erestor to join them. It was a shame that Erestor's sharp tongue had kept them from becoming friends. If only he had seen beneath Erestor's mask!
Glorfindel got to his feet, stretched, and extended his hand to Erestor, encouraging him to rise as well. "I am sure Elrond has saved a good wine for tonight. It would be a shame to let him drink it alone."
Tentatively, Erestor began to push himself to his feet, careful to not put any pressure on his abdomen, which still felt tender. He recalled the last time Glorfindel had reached out to him, offering his hand for support. Back then, he had flinched away from it, but now he felt confident enough to lightly put his hand in Glorfindel's.
Stunned, but extremely pleased that Erestor was reaching out as well, Glorfindel slowly pulled Erestor to his feet. He reluctantly let go of the offered limb, smiling warmly.
Erestor, feeling uncertain, returned the smile. Glorfindel's smile confused him.
Slowly, still enjoying the peace and quiet of the gardens at midnight, they made their way back into the house and headed for Elrond's study, where a number of scented candles created a warm and comfortable atmosphere. Glorfindel greeted Elrond and entered, but Erestor remained standing in the doorway, not certain Elrond really wanted his company -- not after the half-Elf had raised his voice at him earlier.
Elrond looked up from the book he was reading and placed his glass, filled with sweet wine, on his desk. Although Glorfindel had offered to tell Erestor about the upcoming visit, he had suspected that the blond wouldn't be able to follow through and would seek him out instead. "Glorfindel, Erestor." Elrond raised a hand and signaled for them to sit down in the chairs opposite his desk. After getting to his feet, he gathered two more glasses and poured his guests wine as well. "Drink; it is one of the best wines Arda has to offer."
Erestor wasn't sure why he was growing alarmed. Elrond and Glorfindel's gazes met and he thought he saw some silent communication take place. Glorfindel had brought him here for a reason. He refrained from taking another sip of the potent wine, preferring to stay clear-headed.
Elrond saw the insecure expression in Erestor's eyes and sighed, feeling the need to apologize again. "I never meant to raise my voice earlier, Erestor. I was merely worried."
Erestor swallowed hard, not expecting another apology. "Do not worry about it." Elrond's gaze seemed concerned and Erestor averted his eyes, staring at his wine instead. Why had Glorfindel brought him here? Elrond's gaze told him that the half-Elf had some unwelcome news for him. What was it?
"Are you feeling better now? Is your wound still troubling you?" Elrond wanted to reassure Erestor before delivering the bad news.
"I hardly notice it any longer."
Erestor's clipped tone alarmed Glorfindel and Elrond. Apparently Erestor had figured out why he was here.
"I have news for you," said Elrond, tentatively, uncertain how Erestor would react. "Thranduil is visiting Imladris and will arrive tomorrow."
Gooseflesh formed on Erestor's skin. "Thranduil?" He hoped Thranduil was traveling without his advisors, but the odds seemed small. "You could have told me earlier. Now I have to hurry to make all of the arrangements."
"Everything has been taken care of," said Elrond in a concerned tone.
Have I truly become useless and redundant then? The thought saddened Erestor. He had worked hard to become Elrond's right hand man, and now someone else was carrying out his duties!
Elrond sipped his wine, waited for Erestor to look at him, and then said, "Thranduil won't be travelling alone. Your father, Eridhren, is accompanying him." Elrond's eyes widened slightly at the pallor that spread across Erestor's face in mere seconds. The Noldorin Elf's fingers tightly clasped the armrest, and it almost seemed like Erestor's breathing had stopped momentarily. Exchanging a look with Glorfindel, he saw concern reflected in the sapphire eyes.
Erestor stared at the wall, trying to deal with this new information. His father was coming to Imladris. His worst nightmare had finally come true. He had been fortunate that Eridhren had stayed away for so long. "I will be there to welcome my father, then."
Glorfindel cringed. The sparkle that had shone in Erestor's eyes when they had lain beneath the starlit sky was gone now. The eyes were dead and their expression dark. If he'd had any doubts about Eridhren being the one who had hurt Erestor in the past, they ceased to exist right now. He raised his hand, and went to rest it on Erestor's arm in an attempt to reassure him, but Erestor pulled back.
Elrond, growing increasingly worried at Erestor's panic, leaned in closer and tried to catch the Elf's gaze. "Erestor? Is something wrong?" He wanted to reach out like Glorfindel had, but Erestor quickly rose to his feet and headed for the doorway.
"I feel tired and will retire now. I am sure you will spend your evening more pleasantly without me." Erestor inclined his head in goodbye and then dashed into the corridor, not giving them a chance to react.
"That went well," stated Elrond sarcastically. "Maybe I could have handled it better."
"You tried," said Glorfindel, sighing. He was still staring at the door, trying to make up his mind. "Should I go after him?"
Elrond shook his head. "Give Erestor time to realize that his father will arrive tomorrow. Finding out was a shock to him and he would only push you away right now. He needs to calm down first." Elrond made eye contact with the blond. "I feel certain that Eridhren is the one who hurt Erestor in the past. It makes perfect sense. He came here to escape his father and that is why I was never allowed to contact him. By Elbereth, why did I send Eridhren that letter? I should have stayed quiet instead!"
"Do not blame yourself, mellon-nîn," said Glorfindel reassuringly. "You did what you thought was best. We should concentrate on the upcoming visit instead."
"I will deal with Thranduil," said Elrond in a thoughtful tone. "I am counting on you and the twins to constantly keep an eye on Erestor. Never leave him alone with Eridhren. I want someone present at all times."
Glorfindel nodded. "I feel the same way." He briefly closed his eyes. "The mask slipped into place again once he learned his father was about to arrive. Only a few moments earlier he was smiling and trying to trust me for the first time in his life. He actually let me touch him."
"Do not give up now." Elrond sipped his wine again and gazed at the Elda. "Elrohir and you are finally getting through to him, and Eridhren's visit is most unsettling. Erestor will never admit it, but he needs you most now."
Glorfindel's expression became very determined. "I will check on him before going to bed. I need to know he is coping with this situation."
Elrond nodded once. "Try your best. Maybe he will allow you to comfort him. I will talk to Elrohir and Elladan in the meantime. They should know what we are facing."
Glorfindel placed his still-full glass on Elrond's desk and rose to his feet. "I will give Erestor a few more minutes and then I will check on him."
"You are worried for a good reason, and so am I," said Elrond. "Do not hesitate to call me should Erestor experience another emotional breakdown." Elrond was determined to keep Eridhren as far away as possible from Erestor, but he also planned to question the Elf in detail.
"Thank you, Elrond." Glorfindel drew in a deep breath and left Elrond's study. He headed for Erestor's rooms, hoping the hurt Elf would allow him to comfort him.
Erestor, who was panting hard, rested his hands and forehead against the cool brick wall. He was back in the safety of his rooms and could finally let go of his raging emotions. Tears dripped down his face and he slowly sank down onto his knees, hugging his waist in an effort to feel someone's comforting arms around him. But the illusion never worked and again he was alone: he always was.
Angrily he wiped away his tears. He would not cave in now. Millennia ago he had managed to escape his father's reign of terror, and he could do it again. He needed to stay calm and controlled, and then he could find a way to deal with Eridhren.
A knock on the door made his head snap back up and he stared, wary-eyed, at the doorway. Eridhren wasn't here already, was he? Elrond had said Thranduil and Eridhren would arrive tomorrow! Then who was knocking on his door?
"Erestor? Can I come inside? I really want to talk to you."
Glorfindel? Erestor frowned. Why had the blond followed him back to his rooms? He composed himself, wiped away all remaining tears, and slowly rose to his feet, straightening out his robes. Would he get away with sending Glorfindel back to Elrond's study? Surely the Elda wouldn't insist that they talked? "I am very tired and was about to go to sleep. Can we talk in the morning?"
"I would rather do this now. Erestor? Would you open the door?" Glorfindel was growing increasingly nervous now that Erestor wasn't complying. "You seemed very upset when you left and maybe you need a listening ear? You can always talk to me."
A lump of emotions formed in Erestor's throat; no one had ever offered to listen before and he didn't know how to react. He swallowed hard and wrung his hands. "I am not sure— Words eluded him. He didn't want Glorfindel to see him this vulnerable. "Tomorrow?"
"Now."
Glorfindel's determined tone compelled Erestor to walk toward the doorway. He pushed down the door handle and slowly opened the door.
Glorfindel's breath caught, seeing Erestor's pallor and swimming dark eyes. "Thank you."
Erestor averted his eyes and stepped aside to let the blond enter. After closing the door again, he remained standing near the doorway; why had he opened the door in the first place? Now he had to deal with Glorfindel as well as his out-of-control feelings. Fear and panic clawed at him whenever he thought about Eridhren's upcoming visit.
Glorfindel came to a halt in front of the window and turned around to make eye contact with the dark-haired Elf. "You are still upset."
Erestor determinedly shook his head. "You have a very vivid imagination. I have no idea what you are talking about." Feeling defensive, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at the blond.
Glorfindel considered his next move. He didn't want Erestor to feel trapped or pressured; questioning the Elf was the wrong thing to do. He seated himself next to the fireplace and addressed Erestor again. "I am not here to question you, when you are already obviously upset. I am here to offer my support. Maybe having some company will help you to calm down. Loneliness can do awful things to someone."
Gooseflesh formed all over Erestor's body. He had been lonely his entire life and now Glorfindel had showed up, wanting to keep him company? His heart suddenly missed a beat; had he been so transparent that Glorfindel had figured out something was wrong? And maybe even -what- was wrong? Getting wobbly on his feet, he quickly sat down as well, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath.
Glorfindel respected Erestor's silence and did not pressure the Noldorin Elf. Occasionally, when the fire threatened to die, he threw on new wood. They sat in silence and Glorfindel intercepted most of Erestor's probing looks. He is probably wondering why I am still here when he is not talking.
As the night progressed, Erestor's eyes occasionally grew vacant when sleep overwhelmed him, but he always startled awake again and his first glance was for Glorfindel, making sure the blond was still there. Glorfindel interpreted that as Erestor's mute plea to stay with him during the night.
Erestor was fast asleep when the first rays of the sun bathed the two of them in warm light. Glorfindel was still awake, watching Erestor closely. Thranduil and Eridhren would arrive in a few hours and he feared Erestor's reaction to seeing his father. I won't leave him alone. I will be his personal guard and make sure that he is safe at all times.
When Erestor woke, it was because Glorfindel was moving about in his rooms. The blond had just left the bathroom and was now heading back to his chair. Realizing Glorfindel had stayed the entire night, Erestor wondered why. He had expected the Elda to leave when he had fallen asleep.
Glorfindel smiled warmly seeing Erestor awake. "Good morning. Thranduil will arrive within the hour and I assume you want to change your robes first?"
Erestor's stomach contracted nervously, recalling Eridhren was accompanying Thranduil. Within the hour he would face his worst nightmare. "You are right. I should change my clothing."
Erestor's voice shook and Glorfindel immediately grew alarmed. "I need to change into my formal robes as well, but I could join you again later. We could greet Thranduil and Eridhren together." He hoped Erestor accepted his offer, for then the Noldorin Elf wouldn't have to face his father alone.
Erestor nodded slowly. He didn't know how Glorfindel had figured out that Eridhren was the problem, but he was relieved the blond had. "I will come to your rooms then?"
Glorfindel smiled again. "I will wait for you." Reluctantly he headed for the doorway, wishing he could stay with Erestor.
Erestor waited until Glorfindel had closed the door behind him and then released a strangled gasp. How was he going to survive the next hour? Could he face his nemesis without caving in? How would he react when being confronted with Eridhren? He hoped he wouldn't embarrass Elrond, who would certainly want to introduce his chief counselor to Thranduil.
His hands shook whilst changing into velvet brown robes and brushing his hair. His fingertips involuntarily probed the back of his neck, still able to feel the scars his father's fingernails had left behind so long ago. They were an ever-present reminder of his horrid past. He had hoped he would never see his father again, but now the dreaded moment had arrived after all.
After looking once more in the mirror, he draped a black cloak across his shoulders, pulling it tightly around his form. The shivers that shook his body weren't due to the cold, but fear. Was there really no way out? No, Elrond expected him to be present. Slowly, he made his way to Glorfindel's rooms, where he knocked softly.
"Enter!"
Erestor opened the door and hovered near the doorway, hesitant to enter Glorfindel's rooms. He had never been here before and didn't want to intrude on the Elda's privacy.
Glorfindel's rooms greatly differed from his. They were spacious and luxurious, and breathed a warm and comforting atmosphere. The blond had just finished braiding his hair and was now heading toward him. A golden light engulfed the blond Elda, and the sight took Erestor's breath away.
"Are you ready?" Glorfindel wondered about the stunned, almost admiring expression in Erestor's eyes and smiled reassuringly. Reaching out, he slowly rested his hand in the small of Erestor's back. He expected the dark-haired Elf to flinch and move away from his touch, but Erestor accepted it, whilst sending a puzzled look in his direction. Glorfindel answered the mute inquiry with a silent smile.
"We should go now," said Glorfindel after a long moment in which they exchanged probing looks. His hand remained in the small of Erestor's back, and he was pleased when the counselor didn't move away. Maybe Erestor was finally beginning to trust him? He hoped so!
"Keep in mind that at least one of us stays close to Erestor whilst Eridhren is staying in Imladris." Elrond waited for his sons to nod and then continued. "I will escort Thranduil to his rooms and, Elrohir, you will take Eridhren to his. I do not want Erestor anywhere near his father until we know what is really going on."
"And Glorfindel?" Elrohir was surprised that his father wanted him to escort Eridhren.
"I want Glorfindel close to Erestor." Elrond moistened his lips, seeing his sons' puzzled expressions. "Erestor is beginning to trust him and I want to encourage their growing friendship." Elrond straightened out his robes and his eyes became worried, seeing the tension on Erestor's face when his chief advisor approached. Glorfindel's expression was determined and Elrond knew he could count on the Elda to keep Erestor safe. That was one thing less to worry about.
Erestor forced himself to make eye contact with Elrond. After the half-Elf had nodded, he looked at Elrohir, who smiled at him. He weakly returned that smile. Hiding his hands in the sleeves of his robes, he tried to keep them from moving about. He shivered at the prospect of having to guide Eridhren to his guest rooms. The last thing he wanted was to be alone with him.
Elrond, sensing Erestor's apparent discomfort, said, "I will escort Thranduil to his rooms and Elrohir will see to Eridhren. I want you and Glorfindel to make sure everything is prepared for lunch."
Feeling nervous, Erestor wondered just how much Elrond had figured out now that the half-Elf wasn't letting him attend to his father as a son normally would. He wasn't sure how he felt about them knowing something was wrong. They were definitely trying to keep him away from Eridhren, for which he felt thankful. Noise coming from the courtyard attracted his attention, and, looking over his shoulder, he froze, seeing Eridhren riding next to Thranduil.
Glorfindel followed the direction of Erestor's shocked stare and for the first time in his life he laid eyes on Eridhren. Eridhren had long, braided, dark hair, much like Erestor, a pale complexion, and the coldest eyes he had ever seen. The icy grey orbs made him shiver. And this is Erestor's father? His gaze shifted to Erestor and he found that the counselor had seemingly stopped breathing. Cold sweat formed on Erestor's brow and his eyes had widened. His hand still rested in the small of Erestor's back and he reassuringly rubbed his friend's back, receiving a startled look from Erestor in return. "You are not alone," he whispered softly, trying to reassure the upset Elf.
Elrond had also noticed Erestor's reaction and moved until he stood in front of his counselor, obscuring him from Eridhren's view. Forcing himself to concentrate on Thranduil, he addressed the Elf. "Welcome to Imladris. I hope your stay will be pleasant and that our conversations will lead to better organized border patrols."
Thranduil inclined his head in approval and dismounted. "Elrond, I came here because Orcs and Uruk-Hai are threatening our borders and I too hope we will reach some agreement." His eyes traveled from Elrond to the twins. The resemblance was incredible; they had really taken after their father instead of Celebrian. "Elrohir, Elladan..." he said in greeting.
Elrohir raised an eyebrow in surprise at the fact that Thranduil knew their names, let alone that he would acknowledge them. Elbowing Elladan in the stomach, he made sure his brother followed his example to bow slightly. "My lord Thranduil," said Elrohir, trying to figure out how to read the other.
Elrond managed to hide his surprise at Thranduil's mellow mood and risked a weak smile, aimed at the other Elf, who had been one of his best friends in the past, until... Elrond forced himself to stop thinking along those lines. It was not the time to discuss Oropher and Gil-galad's deaths. He quickly changed his plans, embracing this opportunity to learn more about Eridhren, who hadn't said a single word and was blatantly ignoring Erestor. "My sons will show you to your quarters, Thranduil."
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other in surprise. Weren't they supposed to escort Eridhren? But they quickly adjusted to the situation and Elrohir signalled for Thranduil to follow them. "The journey must have tired you."
Thranduil nodded once. "It was a long journey." Following the twins, he looked over his shoulder at Elrond. After releasing a deep sigh, filled with regret, he concentrated on the twins again, trying hard to not look at Erestor. He didn't want to draw any attention to the shaking Elf.
Eridhren had dismounted as well and stood now waiting silently to be shown to his quarters. "Let me show you to your rooms," said Elrond, beckoning Eridhren to follow him.
Glorfindel intercepted one cold glare that Eridhren directed at Erestor and pulled his friend closer, trying to protect him from the menacing stare. "Stay with me," he whispered into Erestor's ear. The counselor nodded shakily.
Elrond waited for Eridhren to follow and then guided his guest to his rooms. Eridhren remained quiet and the half-Elf's curiosity was piqued. What kind of father did not react to seeing his son for the first time in such a long time? He would be overjoyed to be reunited with Elladan and Elrohir! "I trust the rooms will be to your liking. If not, please let me know."
Eridhren didn't reply and shivers ran down Elrond's spine, feeling the other's eyes pierce his back. His instincts warned him to remain very cautious around Eridhren. "Lunch will be served in one hour. A servant will escort you to the dining hall. Our talks will start tomorrow morning, after Thranduil and you rested."
Eridhren nodded and Elrond quickly excused himself. Just being near the Elf felt suffocating and he wondered how Thranduil managed to endure Eridhren's presence. But then again, maybe the Elf wasn't aware of Eridhren's true nature. He drew in a deep breath and composed himself. Eridhren's presence was unsettling. And Erestor was exposed to this for... for how many years?
Elrond started down the corridor, eager to check on Erestor. From this moment on, he wanted someone close to Erestor at all times.
Erestor slowly became aware of Glorfindel rubbing his back. Now that Eridhren was gone, he released the breath he had involuntarily been holding and looked at the blond. How was it possible that he hadn't avoided the touch and instead leaned into it? How had Glorfindel managed to get through his defenses?
Glorfindel began to guide Erestor to Elrond's study, wanting to get him away from the rest of Thranduil's party. After steering Erestor to one of the chairs, he said, "Sit down, mellon-nîn." He walked over to cabinet where Elrond kept his wine and poured Erestor a small amount. "Drink this." Hopefully the wine would calm Erestor's nerves.
Erestor's shaky fingers curled around the glass and he downed it in one go, surprising Glorfindel. The Elda finally realized just how shaken up Erestor really was; usually the Noldorin Elf only sipped cautiously. He seated himself next to Erestor and cleared his throat. "Will you tell me why you are this upset?"
Erestor's hand shook whilst holding the glass and Glorfindel reacted quickly, catching it when Erestor's fingers lost their grip on it. "I have got it." He placed the glass on the floor and slowly gathered Erestor's hands in his, surprised when the Elf let him. Erestor's eyes were swimming and he hoped the Noldorin Elf would finally confide in him. "It is your father, is it not?"
Erestor stared at Glorfindel in disbelief. Was the blond trying to get him to talk? He wasn't sure he could open up after so many centuries of silence. Instead of answering Glorfindel verbally, he nodded.
"He is the one who hurt you in the past."
Glorfindel's determined tone surprised Erestor. Did he also hear anger in Glorfindel's tone? Why would there be anger?
"How did he hurt you?" Fury was building inside Glorfindel.
"I cannot discuss this..." Erestor's voice collapsed as he buried his face in his hands.
Glorfindel accepted that. "I will wait until you are ready to tell me. In the meantime I will stay close to you."
"Why?" Erestor pleadingly stared at Glorfindel. Had the impossible really happened? Did someone really care enough to look beneath his mask and see the pain hiding there? He had feared this day would never come and now that it had, he was afraid to entrust his past to Glorfindel. "Why stay?"
"Because I can tell you are hurting. Last night, when Elrond told you that your father was about to visit, you were shocked." Glorfindel gave Erestor a thoughtful look. "I do not know in which ways Eridhren hurt you, but I will prevent it from happening again." Tears now flowed freely down Erestor's face and the Noldorin Elf's fingers tightened around his, holding on for support. Glorfindel squeezed them in return. "You can put your trust in me. I will not let you down."
"I want to believe you," whispered Erestor hoarsely. "But it is hard to believe that you really want to—" Erestor's voice faltered, seeing the disappointment in Glorfindel's eyes; the blond was sincere.
Glorfindel, realizing Erestor needed time to accept his interest, remained silent and waited for the dark-haired Elf to reach a decision. Please trust me--
Erestor was afraid to make a mistake that would cost him dearly, but now that Eridhren had arrived he needed someone to stand by him. "He is not what he seems."
"Your father is not what he seems? In what way?" Glorfindel felt relieved now that Erestor was talking to him. Now he needed to be patient and diplomatic.
Erestor moistened his lips and looked at their joined hands, wondering about the blond's interest in him. "He is..." Erestor desperately searched for the right words. "Be careful around him."
Glorfindel's breath caught involuntarily when Erestor's eyes widened impossibly. "What is it?" What had startled the raven-haired Elf?
"Elladan and Elrohir..." Erestor suddenly panicked, but then the feelings seemed to deflate again. "They are with Thranduil and they are together." He squeezed Glorfindel's hand hard. "Please make sure Eridhren is not left alone with them!"
"Why?" Glorfindel hated pushing Erestor, but he had to know why the twins were in danger!
"They are still so young and they won't recognize the danger he presents." Erestor was shaking like a leaf.
"In what way is Eridhren dangerous? How can he hurt them?"
But Erestor wasn't ready yet to confide the horrible truth to Glorfindel. "Just make sure Eridhren does not catch either of them alone and off guard."
Glorfindel realized that Erestor wouldn't tell him more. It would take the counselor some time to work up to that. "I will tell Elrond."
Erestor lowered his eyes. "Do you really believe me?" Only Thranduil and his wife had believed him when it came down to Eridhren.
"Why should I not believe you? I know you are serious." Glorfindel smiled reassuringly. I know you are scared and that you worry about the twins' safety.
Erestor hesitantly made eye contact again. The look in Glorfindel's eyes took his breath away. "You are really worried about me and you do believe me." That realization warmed his scarred soul.
Glorfindel nodded once. "I am worried about you, and I do believe you." No one believed you when you told them Eridhren was dangerous? Is that the reason why you were incapable of trusting us for all these centuries? "Elrond believes you, and so do the twins. You are no longer alone." Glorfindel wiped away Erestor's tears before they dripped from the raven-haired Elf's chin. "You have been alone for a long time, have you not?"
Erestor was only capable of nodding. He felt the insane urge to fling himself into Glorfindel's arms to hug the Elda, but stopped himself just in time. He didn't want to impose himself on Glorfindel like that.
Feeling Erestor's hands twitch in his and seeing the Noldorin Elf sway on the chair, Glorfindel gave in to his instincts, and let go of Erestor's hands so he could wrap his arms around him. "I am here. You are safe, mellon-nîn. Eridhren won't ever hurt you again!" Erestor tensed, but then the other's body sagged against him and he tightened his hold. "You can let go, Erestor."
Like before in Elrohir's arms, Erestor sobbed and clung to Glorfindel in the midst of this emotional storm. Feelings which had been denied for centuries now fought a way to the surface. Erestor blinked his swimming eyes and then buried his face in Glorfindel's robes.
Glorfindel slid onto his knees and pulled Erestor along onto the floor, where he tightly embraced the raven-haired Elf. He didn't say a word, offering Erestor silent support. Words became redundant whilst he rocked the Noldorin Elf in his arms.
After a few minutes, Erestor calmed down and felt embarrassed for losing control. Glorfindel must think he had lost his sanity! "I am sorry," he whispered in a strangled tone.
"Do not be sorry," replied Glorfindel, who refused to release Erestor just yet, even though the raven-haired Elf tried to move away from him. "You kept this buried inside for so long and now it finally found a way out. You might actually feel better now that you cried."
Glorfindel's words surprised Erestor, but he had to admit the Elda was right. "I do feel better." The darkness had faded momentarily. "Thank you for..." For what?
"You can always count on me to be there when you need me." Glorfindel smiled, soothingly stroked Erestor's back and felt like he had really made progress. "You can trust me. Do you know that?"
Erestor smiled weakly. "I do... now."
Elrond decided to drop by his study before joining his guests for lunch. He hadn't seen or heard from either Glorfindel or Erestor and was beginning to grow worried. Opening the door to his study, he halted in his tracks, seeing Erestor enveloped in a tight hug. Glorfindel looked up, met his gaze and nodded once. Elrond released a relieved sigh; somehow Glorfindel had found a way to break down Erestor's defenses. He closed the door behind him, but gave them a moment to compose themselves, remaining standing near the doorway, not approaching yet.
"Erestor? Elrond just arrived. Maybe you should tell him what you just told me." Glorfindel pulled back slightly, but maintained his hold on the raven-haired counselor, whose dark eyes now hesitantly sought out Elrond's.
Elrond advanced on them and sat down behind his desk, still maintaining his distance. The last thing he wanted was for Erestor to feel pressured.
Erestor wiped away the remnants of his tears and tried to break free of Glorfindel's embrace. The blond gave in and released him, and Erestor struggled to his feet. Swaying slightly, he quickly sat down on a chair.
"What is Glorfindel talking about?" asked Elrond, concerned. Erestor's eyes were red from crying.
"You have to make sure my father is never alone with one of the twins. He is dangerous," Erestor paused briefly to search for the right words, "He is a predator."
Elrond knew Elladan and Elrohir could easily hold their own against Eridhren, but Erestor still thought of the twins as Elflings, having helped raise them. In Erestor's opinion they would always need protection. Elrond cleared his throat, hoping his next assessment would make Erestor open up farther. "And he preys on children? Very young children?"
Erestor shivered violently, lowered his eyes and wished the floor would open and swallow him.
Elrond sighed deeply. "I will tell Elladan and Elrohir to be careful when dealing with Eridhren. And you do not have to join us for lunch, Erestor. I would understand if you preferred to stay clear of Eridhren."
"No," said Erestor in an urgent tone. "I will be there. I do not want him to think I am afraid of him."
"But you -are- afraid of him," pointed out Glorfindel, who had regained possession of Erestor's right hand. He was soothingly rubbing the dark-haired Elf's knuckles.
"I have always been afraid of him," said Erestor, whilst looking into Glorfindel's eyes. "But I refuse to give in to that fear."
Glorfindel nodded approvingly. "Facing your fears will make you stronger, and you have our support."
Elrond wondered just how afraid Erestor was and if it was wise to let his friend attend lunch. "Stay close to Glorfindel."
Erestor nodded thankfully. "I will."
Elrond and Glorfindel exchanged a look filled with understanding. Together, they would deal with Eridhren.
Thranduil looked over his shoulder and saw Elrond, his advisors, and the twins approaching. The party had now reached their table and they seated themselves. To his relief, he found that Erestor wasn't seated next to Eridhren, but at the other side of the table, safely wedged between Glorfindel and Elrohir.
Elrond signaled for everyone to begin eating and Thranduil caught himself occasionally looking at the half-Elf. It was hard to imagine they had been best friends once, even lovers, but then Gil-galad had taken Elrond away from him. Elrond had possessed a passion and beauty which he had admired, and after some very clumsy seduction attempts the Peredhel had given into his advances. For a very brief time they had been lovers, but then Gil-galad had taken an interest in Elrond and had stolen the half-Elf away from him.
His bitterness stemmed from losing a lover to someone he had always instinctively disliked. Oropher's death had only deepened the chasm between them. There was a lot of old pain between them and his heart still ached because of this lost love.
Ah, but why was he giving in to these gloomy thoughts? He was here to negotiate a truce between Mirkwood and Imladris, not to dwell on the past. He'd had his chance with Elrond and it hadn't worked. He had to let go. It had happened so many centuries ago!
"Thranduil, I trust your quarters are satisfactory?" Elrond, having noticed Thranduil's absent-minded expression, raised an eyebrow inquisitively. The blond Elf started momentarily, but then replied in a formal, somewhat distant tone.
"Aye, they are. Imladris is truly beautiful." Eridhren snorted beside him and Thranduil glared at him.
Eridhren had averted his eyes and was now staring at Erestor, who seemed to shrink within himself beneath the look, which greatly worried Glorfindel. Holding Erestor's hand beneath the table, Glorfindel squeezed in an effort to offer his support.
Erestor managed to answer Eridhren's stare momentarily, but then averted his eyes. The cold expression in his father's eyes was making him feel physically ill and he wished he had accepted Elrond's earlier offer to not attend lunch. Knowing Eridhren was this close caused all sorts of horrid memories to return and he struggled to maintain control of them. Feeling Glorfindel's fingers curled around his helped.
Elrond, sensing the tension, wondered how to do away with it. He didn't want Erestor to leave; that would resemble a flight and then Eridhren would feel like he had chased Erestor away. But he had to do something! An idea suddenly came to mind. "Eridhren, why don't we already discuss Mirkwood's plans so that when we get together tomorrow Thranduil and I can quickly reach a decision?" Looking at Thranduil, Elrond added, "I am sure you are most eager to return home."
Thranduil barely refrained from staring at Elrond in surprise. "You are right, of course." Realizing Elrond wanted to talk to Eridhren in private, he wondered why. "We will talk in the morning then."
Eridhren rose from his chair and followed Elrond onto the balcony. Stairs spiraled down and took them into the gardens.
A strangled sigh left Erestor's lips once Eridhren was gone. "I cannot stay here any longer," he whispered into Glorfindel's ear.
Glorfindel reacted at once, got to his feet and pulled Erestor along. He cast an apologetic look at the twins, who also wanted to join them, but he quickly shook his head. It would be rude to leave Thranduil all by himself. Now it was up to the twins to play host.
"Erestor? Come with me." Glorfindel steered the dark-haired Elf toward the doorway, eager to take Erestor away from the crowd. Once they were safely in the corridor, he forced Erestor to stop walking and waited for the dark eyes to meet his. "I do not want him near you. Please stay away from him."
But Erestor objected weakly. "Tomorrow start the negotiations. As Elrond's counselor I should be there."
"Erestor, do you trust me?"
Erestor, feeling confused at hearing Glorfindel's question, nodded.
"Then let me take your place at the council tomorrow." Glorfindel looked pleadingly at Erestor. "Do not expose yourself to his presence."
"But then he will think he intimidated me and..." Erestor's voice faltered. "I cannot let the past repeat itself."
Glorfindel drew in a deep breath and started walking again, guiding Erestor to his rooms where they had some privacy. He was determined to make the dark-haired Elf open up to him; he had to know what terrible secret lay hidden in the past.
Elrohir wondered if he was supposed to say something now that his father, Erestor and Glorfindel had left. "My lord Thranduil, have you ever been in Imladris before?" It seemed a dumb question to him, but it was the only thing he was able to come up with.
Thranduil actually managed a genuine smile. "Never. As you probably know your father and I had differences in the past."
Elrohir looked to Elladan to save him from the awkward situation, which was becoming increasingly embarrassing. What could they possibly ask Thranduil?
"Do you have any children?" Elladan felt proud of having been able to think up that question and grinned broadly.
Thranduil sensed some of their unease and continued to smile to reassure them. The twins had inherited more than just Elrond's good looks; they were charming as well. Elrohir especially reminded him of a much younger Elrond. "I have two sons. Valthoron is the oldest, and my heir. Legolas is about your age, maybe a tad younger, and more of a free spirit who roams Arda most of the time."
Elladan knew he shouldn't ask this next question, but couldn't stop himself. "And their mother?"
A sad expression appeared in Thranduil's sea green eyes. "Like your mother, she sailed to Valinor many centuries ago."
Elladan cursed himself privately. He knew he shouldn't have asked that question. "I am sorry..." Lost for words, he looked apologetically at Thranduil.
"You could not know. Do not worry about it." Thranduil's gaze continued to shift between the two of them. They were identical twins, but he felt confident he could tell them apart. Now it was time for a question of his own. "I noticed that Erestor is not feeling well?"
Elrohir frowned. "He has not been feeling well for some time now. He was wounded recently and I suppose he has not yet recovered completely," said Elrohir quickly, when Elladan was lost for words. "Glorfindel and my father have been looking after him."
Thranduil's eyes narrowed. "So it has nothing to do with Eridhren's presence?"
Elrohir and Elladan exchanged a worried look. Thranduil's question had taken them aback. In the end, Elrohir said, "I did notice that Eridhren is remarkably reserved towards Erestor, considering they have not seen each other for so long."
"Reserved..." said Thranduil thoughtfully. "Reserved is not the word I would use to describe him."
"What words -would- you use?" asked Elladan curiously.
"Cold. Distant. Dangerous even." Thranduil swore he heard a sigh of relief, coming from Elrohir's lips. "You agree with me then?"
Elrohir nodded, suddenly wondering why he was discussing this with Thranduil. Somehow he had imagined Thranduil to be different, not this... mellow and friendly. "Maybe you should discuss this matter with my father."
"I think I will," said Thranduil in a slow, thoughtful tone. "If you will excuse me now, I think I will go for a short walk."
Elladan and Elrohir reacted too slowly and by they time they wanted to address Thranduil, the Ruler of Mirkwood had already stepped onto the balcony, leaving them behind in wonder.
Eridhren had fallen into step beside him and Elrond constantly fought the urge to put more distance between them. The hair at the back of his neck stood rigid, warning him to be extremely cautious. He had never experienced such a fierce reaction before when meeting an Elf for the first time. "I trust you already have certain ideas how to set up these border patrols?" Eridhren's clipped laughter caused gooseflesh to form on his skin and Elrond involuntarily pulled his cloak closer around his form.
"I have, but I doubt that is the reason why you want to talk to me." Eridhren halted in his tracks and leaned against the trunk of an ash, studying Elrond.
Elrond took a step away from Eridhren, trying hard to keep his breathing steady. For some reason he felt unable to draw in his next breath. "What do you mean?"
"Erestor lied. I never hurt him. He was a rather confused child and mixed up certain things that happened in the past. I am his father. How could I possibly hurt my own flesh and blood? Could you hurt your sons?"
How did Eridhren know that they had suspected this? Elrond probed the icy grey eyes. "If you did not hurt him, who did?"
"A stranger."
Lies! He is lying! Elrond was on his guard, seeing the predatory look in Eridhren's eyes. He didn't believe a single word Eridhren had said.
Eridhren reacted quickly, stepped up to Elrond, grabbed the half-Elf's wrist and pulled him close. "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is not about Erestor. Maybe it is about... lust?"
The sudden change in Eridhren's eyes startled Elrond. They became narrow and evil, almost undressing and devouring him. A sense of entrapment swept through him and he tried to free himself of Eridhren's hold. "Lust?" he echoed in disbelief.
"What is your pleasure, mighty Lord of Imladris?" said Eridhren in a mocking tone. "Do you want me to tie you down? Spank you? Bend you over and take you? Is that why you brought me here? You really need to be more diplomatic in future. I am sure the others saw through your guise."
Elrond stared at Eridhren in shock, almost questioning his sanity. "What did you say? Do you really think I would want you in that way? How dare you assume such a thing?" Growing furious, he doubled his effort to rid himself of Eridhren's hold. "Let go of me! How dare you touch me?"
Eridhren's grin grew malicious, licking his lips, whilst leaning in closer to touch them to Elrond's. "Ah, you like it rough."
Elrond's eyes narrowed dangerously and he prepared to fight off Eridhren in earnest when an angry voice cut through the air.
"You heard him, Eridhren. Remove your hands from his person." Thranduil appeared from behind them and glared at his counselor. "Return to your quarters and stay there until I send word."
Eridhren hissed at Elrond, but then let go of the half-Elf and after shooting a venomous look at Thranduil, he turned and marched away.
Elrond, still furious, now aimed his anger at Thranduil. "Are you insane to bring him here? He is obviously a very troubled soul!"
Thranduil forced himself to remain calm. He knew from personal experience that Elrond had to vent his anger first before he would really listen to him.
"His presence upsets Erestor and -" Elrond paused momentarily, still trying to comprehend what had just happened, "He assaulted me!"
Thranduil briefly considered pointing out to Elrond that it was the half-Elf's letter that had brought Eridhren here, but refrained from doing so, not wanting to aggravate the dark-haired Elf any farther. "Are you done?"
Elrond glared at him; his eyes shot deadly daggers and they were aimed at the blond.
Thranduil drew in a deep breath, met Elrond's defying glare, and said, "I know Eridhren is a danger and that allowing him to come here is dangerous, but if I had refused he would have sneaked after me. At least now I know where he is and what he is up to. I do not have to worry about him operating in the dark."
Elrond finally managed to calm down. Rubbing his wrist to sooth the chafed skin, he nodded once. "Continue."
"Your letter made him determined to come here. I kept Erestor's whereabouts carefully hidden from Eridhren, but you addressed that letter to him personally and I was unable to intercept it." Thranduil pointed at a bench near a lovely stream. "Why don't we sit down?"
Elrond followed Thranduil, still remaining on his guard. After sitting down, he waited for the blond to continue.
"Eridhren is dangerous. You do not want him as your enemy."
Elrond cocked his head in question. "You followed us here."
Thranduil nodded once. "I know Eridhren. You are a challenge he cannot exist." A challenge he hadn't been able to resist either centuries ago. "You might want to keep an eye on your sons. Eridhren will try to prey on them as well. I take it Glorfindel is guarding Erestor?"
Stunned, Elrond stared at Thranduil. "What do you know about Eridhren that you are not telling me?"
Thranduil nodded his head. "Eridhren is a predator. He preys on the young, the innocent. The children, young Elflings. He hurts them in so many ways. When Valthoron and Legolas were born I had to station Eridhren on the outskirts of my realm, for I did not want him near my children."
Elrond suddenly realized that he was holding his breath. "Why are you still keeping him around?"
Thranduil shrugged. "As I said before, as long as I know where he is and what he is up to I can prevent the worst. If I had banished him, he would have been free to make more victims."
"Do you know what he did to Erestor?" Elrond had a hard time believing Thranduil was on his side. He had mentally prepared himself for a very ugly confrontation, but then again, Thranduil had never been predictable. It was one of the things that had first attracted him to the blond.
Thranduil leaned back, stared at the clouds that were obscuring the sun, and then nodded once. "Eridhren was already one of my counselors when he got one of the maidens pregnant. I forced him to marry her, but it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. The maiden died in childbirth and Eridhren tried to abandon the child. I stopped him and forced him to care for the baby. Eridhren hated Erestor and mistreated the poor child badly. Throughout the years he abused Erestor, not only emotionally, but physically as well."
Elrond listened breathlessly. Thranduil was finally providing him with the missing pieces of this puzzle.
"Years before Erestor reached majority I found him in one of the halls. He had been beaten bloody and was incapable of speech. He was in shock and I took him to my rooms. My wife took care of him, and when he had regained some of his composure he confirmed my suspicions that Eridhren was responsible for his state. Erestor begged me to help him get away from his father, and I could not decline. I provided him with a horse, and water, and I escorted him to our borders." Thranduil averted his eyes before making his next admission. "I told him to make for Imladris, where you would surely allow him sanctuary."
Elrond nodded. "I took him in. I realized something was wrong with him, but he was so... distant. I could not reach him."
"I think that Erestor was very determined to never get hurt again. He would not let you in for he feared you would emotionally hurt him." Thranduil's heart still missed a beat, thinking back to finding that huddled form, full of misery, hidden behind his throne. It had been the one place Erestor had felt safe.
Elrond's eyes narrowed. "I never realized you knew Erestor that well. I never noticed anything during our meetings."
"Erestor always feared that Eridhren would accompany me and he remained alert the entire time. He also did not want you to grow suspicious. You would wonder why we knew each other. He was protecting himself."
"I never suspected a thing," whispered Elrond, shocked. Forcing himself to focus on the problem at hand, he said, "What do we do with Eridhren? I do not want him loose in the Last Homely House, trying to hurt my sons as well."
"I suggest you station guards near his rooms and check on him regularly. He will try to get close to Erestor and we must prevent that from happening."
"I will make sure Eridhren is guarded at all times." A strange sensation coursed through Elrond's heart, hearing Thranduil's worried and compassionate tone. "Thranduil?"
Thranduil's gaze became guarded, hearing the unexpected change in Elrond's tone. "Aye?"
"We were friends once, were we not?"
"Friends?" Thranduil's tone changed, and became more distant as if lost in memories. "We were more than friends. We were lovers... until..."
Elrond flinched involuntarily. "Until Gil-galad appeared in our lives."
"He wanted you and it did not matter to him that we were together. He seduced you, and you—" Anger surfaced in his voice. "It is not wise to discuss this now. Even after these millennia I get angry when..."
Elrond slowly placed a hand on Thranduil's arm, and when the blond looked at him, he said, "It was infatuation, Thranduil. We were young. What we felt was not love."
Thranduil laughed, embittered. "Elrond, I do not know what you felt, but I loved you. Did you really love Gil-galad? Or was it lust that made you forget my declarations of eternal love?"
Elrond watched, surprised, as Thranduil jumped to his feet and began to pace.
"My father was against our love and yet I snuck into your tent every night because I wanted to be with you! Oropher constantly told me that I was stupid to trust you to return my love and I told him how wrong he was! I was convinced you loved me!"
Elrond's eyes had widened during Thranduil's speech, and he moistened his lips to speak as well, but then Thranduil beat him to it.
"And yes, I did hate you for contributing to my father's death! Aye, he acted rashly and moved out without direct orders, but when we sent for help we did not get an answer because Gil-galad was busy taking his dirty pleasure from your body!"
Elrond, speechless, just stared at Thranduil, whose rage had now reached its maximum.
Thranduil realized just what he had revealed and felt angry with himself for letting go. He had never wanted Elrond to find out that he was still hurting after all these centuries. "I—" He shook his head, spun around and marched away, leaving Elrond behind in complete shock.
Elrond stared at Thranduil's form until the blond had vanished from sight. By Elbereth, he hadn't seen that outburst coming! Slightly shaky from having these intense emotions aimed at him, he reached out for support and placed his hand against the trunk of a tree. It was true then; Thranduil had really loved him. Gil-galad had convinced him that the blond just lusted after him, and when the High King had made his move, he had given in willingly, happy to have found someone who did love him.
I was so wrong. I should have trusted my instincts and feelings back then instead of taking Gil-galad's words for granted. Thranduil had really loved him. Immensely saddened, he hung his head in shame and regret. Why did I listen to Gil-galad? Because of his splendor? His power? He was so different from Thranduil.
Thranduil had always made slow, passionate love with him, whilst Gil-galad had just taken what he had wanted. I was a fool.
Elrond raised his head, and stared at the green leaves, sheltering him from the powerful rays of the sun. "I loved you too," he whispered sincerely, "but I was afraid to admit it." And that fear was the reason why he had lost the one person who had truly loved him.
Glorfindel quickly closed the door behind him and led Erestor to the bed, where he sat the shaken Elf down. Seeing him shiver, Glorfindel left Erestor on the bed to pour his friend a glass of wine. He also retrieved a blanket and draped it across Erestor's shoulders. Hopefully Erestor would find some comfort in being in his private rooms again, far away from Eridhren. "Drink this, maybe it will help settle your nerves." Glorfindel sat down next to Erestor and handed him the glass, watching him carefully.
Erestor sipped mechanically, not realizing he was actually drinking wine. His father's glare haunted him and his hands began to shake, making the wine slosh over the rim.
Glorfindel quickly curled his fingers around Erestor's and steadied them. He assisted the Elf in drinking the sweet liquid and then disposed of the empty glass. Once more retrieving Erestor's hand, he clasped it in his. With his other hand, he cupped the dark-haired Elf's chin in his palm, lifted his face and made eye contact with Erestor. "Will you tell me what haunts you? You are hurting because you are trying to deal with this on your own when you do not have to. Please confide in me."
Erestor closed his eyes momentarily. Shaking violently, he tried to fight down his shame and rising nausea, which the returning memories were causing. "I am afraid... Afraid you will leave me... when you learn the truth." His eyes opened and he stared pleadingly at the blond. "I never had a friend before! I do not want to lose you!" He was certain that opening up to Glorfindel would make the Elda look at him in disgust and desert him.
Glorfindel sighed deeply, realizing how fragile Erestor's trust in him was. The dark-haired Elf expected to be abandoned the moment his lover found out the truth. "I won't desert you," said Glorfindel firmly. "I will stand by you." Sensing the inner struggle that was taking place in Erestor's mind, he reassuringly squeezed the Noldorin Elf's hand, hoping to convince him to continue.
"I -will- lose your friendship," sighed Erestor, distressed. "I know I will..." He shook his head when Glorfindel wanted to object and said, "So... you want to know the truth?"
Holding his breath, Glorfindel nodded once. Had Erestor really decided to trust him? "Please, tell me everything."
Erestor released a shaky breath and averted his eyes. He couldn't possibly tell his story whilst looking at Glorfindel. "It s-started..." he stuttered nervously, "be-before I was even born."
Glorfindel released the breath he had been holding. It hurt that Erestor refused to make eye contact with him, but he allowed it. He still had a tight hold on the Elf's hand and showed his support by rubbing Erestor's knuckles.
"Eridhren got my... m-mother pregnant and he was ordered to marry her... w-which he did. He never loved her though... He felt t-trapped, and neglected her... during her pregnancy." Erestor's features contorted with emotional pain as he continued, "S-she began to fade... and after I was born... her s-soul traveled to the Halls of Waiting."
Glorfindel's heart contracted painfully, seeing the anguish in Erestor's eyes. He had never heard Erestor stutter before; it showed in how much emotional pain the Elf was. "She died in childbirth?"
"I... n-never knew her. She must have been beautiful... I wish I had known her... Maybe things would have been... different if she had s-survived." Erestor's large, dark eyes filled with unshed tears. "She had long, golden hair and sky blue eyes... At least... that is what Thranduil told me."
"Thranduil?" Glorfindel frowned. What had Thranduil to do with this?
"I grew up in M-mirkwood... and Thranduil often tried to p-protect me from my father's rages... In the end, he helped me escape... I traveled to Imladris, h-hoping to find a home, a r-real home, here." The tears finally left Erestor's eyes and flowed down the Elf's cheek, and the stutter worsened. "I was s-so afraid Eridhren would t-track me down and follow me here... B-but Thranduil made sure my father did not f-find out... I am eternally g-grateful for that... it enabled me to build a life here."
Glorfindel grew sad; what a cold and lonely life Erestor's had been! He hadn't noticed, hadn't probed beneath the surface! No one had! "I never knew you grew up in Mirkwood."
"I k-kept it a secret. I did not want you or Elrond to become s-suspicious... The one thing I was most afraid of... was Eridhren f-finding out and coming here... M-my worst nightmare has now come true... How did he find me after all this t-time?"
Glorfindel, feeling guilty and ashamed, cleared his throat. "That might be Elrond's fault."
"Elrond?" Erestor blinked through his tears, pleadingly looking at Glorfindel.
"We were so worried about you that Elrond contacted Eridhren. We did not know—"
"So that is how he f-found out," whispered Erestor brokenly. "M-maybe I should have confided in Elrond when I f-first came here... but I was afraid... afraid he would send me back.... I had not reached my majority yet, and " Sobs made it impossible for Erestor to continue.
"Calm down, mellon-nîn. You are safe here; you know that."
"But I... I no longer feel safe! Not now that I know he- is here! His presence is b-bringing b-back all kind of memories!"
Erestor's upset tone was getting to Glorfindel, who was becoming severely worried, seeing the dark-haired Elf's eyes grow big. "What kind of memories?" Did he even want to hear this? But he had to follow through now, for Erestor's sake.
Erestor closed his eyes and his tone dropped, until it became emotionless and hardly understandable. "It began when I was lit-little... He would get c-cross with me for everything. At one p-point I was afraid to just br-breathe in his presence. He constantly ordered me around... I was his personal sla...ve... and..."
Glorfindel folded an arm around the trembling Elf and pulled Erestor close. "Then what?"
"I dropped a... c-cup accidentally and he... he hi-hit me. There was blood coming out of my nose... and I did not understand w-why I was hurting, or why he had hi-hit me." Erestor raised his head and stared helplessly at the blond. "I s-said I was s-sorry for dr-dropping that cup. I did no-not do it on purpose. I was only a child!"
"I know you did not do it on purpose, but even if you did, it did not warrant his reaction. He had no right to hit you!" Anger was beginning to build in Glorfindel.
"It be-became worse from that p-point on. He would hit me... for no reason at all, just because I was t-there. He yelled at me... blamed me for my... my mother's death and said he hated- me... He wished she had never con...conceived and that I should never have been b-born!"
Glorfindel hugged Erestor tightly. "What an awful thing to say to a child."
"If only it had st-stopped there..." Erestor hesitantly returned the hug, which felt awkward and unfamiliar to him. "The beatings got worse... The br-bruises showed on my face."
"And no one tried to help you?" Glorfindel barely managed to keep his anger under control and he wasn't sure how he would react when being confronted with Eridhren. He wanted to make the Elf pay for hurting Erestor like that!
"Thran... Thranduil tried to help and so did his wife, Aewithôn... They often v-visited, trying to r-reason with my father. They offered to raise me instead, but my father r-refused... I do not know why, what kind of p-perverse p-pleasure he—" Erestor's breathing stopped momentarily, and his body froze against Glorfindel's.
Glorfindel realized the worst was yet to come and mentally prepared himself for Erestor's next admission. He tightened his hold on the dark-haired Elf and made eye contact. "What happened next?"
"The m-maidens did not w-want anything to do with him... They knew Gildin had d-died because of grief and they avoided him. But, he... he..." Unable to continue, Erestor sobbed softly.
Glorfindel told himself to be patient and give Erestor the time he needed. He rubbed his friend's back with strong, soothing strokes and held him tight. "You can tell me."
Erestor felt terrified and desperately wanted to flee the room, but he couldn't stop now. Glorfindel wouldn't let him. "Sex-sexually, he..."
Glorfindel sucked in his breath. He had feared Erestor would reveal something like this, but had hoped his fears were ungrounded. "He touched you? Intimately?"
Erestor lowered his eyes in shame and nodded once. His faltering voice was barely audible. "And I... I was ordered to... to t-touch him."
"How far did it go?"
"I had to ma-make him c-come... Pl-please... please do not make me tell you the de-details! I s-still feel so ashamed because of it." Erestor buried his face against Glorfindel's shoulder, unable to bear the blond's gaze any longer. "It continued for... years."
"You are not to blame for this; you know that, don't you?" Glorfindel pulled back slightly and lifted Erestor's chin. "His mind is twisted and he should never have gotten his hands on an innocent."
"Thranduil and Aewithôn... t-tried... to get me away from him, but he... he is my father! They could n-not overrule his parental rights... but they did make my life more bearable... I knew someone cared about me." Erestor's voice faltered each time his emotions overwhelmed him.
"You said earlier that Thranduil helped you flee from Mirkwood?" Inwardly, Glorfindel was raging. His anger, aimed at Eridhren, was making it hard to concentrate on Erestor's needs. He wanted to hurt Eridhren like the bastard had hurt Erestor!
"That... night... was the w-worst of my life. A maiden, who he had pursued, had re-rejected him... and, frustrated, he came to my r-room... I was so scared... I had n-never seen him that f-furious before... and I was at a loss at what to do... so I tried to r-run away, but he caught me and...I got the w-worst b-beating of my life... When... his rage faded...he... left! He simply left me there, b-bleeding and b-bruised. I left a bloody trail on the floor; that is how ba-badly he had hurt me!"
Glorfindel's eyes were now filling with tears as well. Erestor had suffered so much!
"Thranduil m-must have heard me... or maybe one of his guards told him, but he found me, hi-hiding behind his throne... I hid there often... It was the last p-place where my father would look for me. Thranduil took me to his r-rooms where Aewithôn tended to my wounds." Erestor drew in a deep breath. "I begged Thranduil to help me."
"Which he did." Glorfindel moistened his lips. His mouth felt awfully dry and a lump had formed in his throat. "I am so glad he helped you. I never liked Thranduil, but I do feel thankful that he reached out to you."
Erestor searched Glorfindel's eyes, looking for rejection and loathing, but instead he found understanding and compassion in them. The blond was also still holding him, rubbing his back, another sign that Glorfindel didn't blame him for what had happened in the past.
"It was not your fault," said Glorfindel firmly, sensing Erestor's fears. "It was not your fault," he repeated, emphasizing every word. "Eridhren was wrong; he is to blame, not you." Erestor collapsed against him and the raven-haired Elf rested his head on his shoulder. Glorfindel rocked him slowly, whispering, "It was not your fault, please believe me. There is no reason to feel ashamed."
"But I do- feel ashamed, and I...I..." Erestor paused, reminded himself that he could trust Glorfindel, and added, "I am so... afraid that it- will happen again now that he has f-found me. I feel like the fr-frightened child which I once was... I feel helpless and defenseless."
Glorfindel understood. "He won't touch you ever again. You are no longer a child, but an adult. You can defend yourself and I will make sure that he will never get you alone. Never!"
Erestor took comfort in Glorfindel's promise, hoping the blond would keep his word. It was still hard to trust, but it had just become a little bit easier.
Glorfindel waited until Erestor's sobs had died and the dark-haired Elf simply rested against him, soaking up warmth and comfort. When Erestor finally raised his head from his shoulder, Glorfindel read a question in those dark eyes. "What is it?"
"I do not feel safe here," said Erestor in a tone hoarse from crying. "He will come for me, and he can easily locate my rooms." Involuntarily his gaze drifted off to the door, almost expecting his father to appear there.
"I will stay with you. You should know that the twins, Elrond, or I will always be here for you. We won't leave you alone, not even for a minute." Glorfindel smiled, saddened, when he tried to let go of Erestor, who continued to cling to him. "You are safe, mellon-nîn. Trust in me."
Erestor tentatively nodded. "I hope he will leave shortly." The mere thought of his father being in Imladris was enough to distress him.
Glorfindel looked through the window. How many hours had passed since lunch? The sun was quite low and it wouldn't be long before the moon would start to rise again. His gaze shifted to Erestor and he sighed, upset, seeing the eyes were still red from crying. The raven-haired Elf looked absolutely miserable. "Why don't you try to sleep, mellon-nîn? You must be tired."
"I am afraid to close my eyes," admitted Erestor, caught off guard.
"What if I promise to stay close?" Glorfindel gathered Erestor's hands in his, and met the other's gaze. "I promise you won't be alone tonight. Even if I should be called away I will make sure either Elladan or Elrohir will stay with you." Involuntarily, he held his breath as Erestor raised his right hand to brush a blond lock from his face. The touch was gentle, almost intimate, and he smiled encouragingly. It was the first time that Erestor reached out like that.
Suddenly growing aware of what he had done, Erestor jerked back his hand and gave the Elda an apologetic look. Even the slightest touch had spooked him for years and now he wanted to touch Glorfindel? What if the blond didn't want to be touched? Sighing, he wondered if he would ever be able to make sense of his messed up thoughts. What his father had done to him had changed him forever.
"Let us get you out those formal robes; they cannot be comfortable to sleep in." Seeing Erestor's eyes go big, Glorfindel smiled reassuringly.
"I do not want to impose on you," whispered Erestor, shakily, but the blond was gone already, opening his closet and withdrawing a white sleeping robe. Erestor lowered his gaze; the thought of Glorfindel helping him undress was causing strange, unknown emotions to wash through him.
Glorfindel noticed Erestor's unease, but pretended to not see it. He began to unbutton Erestor's robes because his friend's hands were shaking. "I need you to stand up."
Erestor did, shaking like a leaf, and the robes dropped to the floor. Glorfindel quickly told hold of the sleeping robe, and helped Erestor into it, buttoning it up again at the end. "Comfortable?" The way Erestor shied away from his touch and gaze caused his heart to ache in sympathy.
Erestor nodded weakly, uncomfortable with the fact that Glorfindel had seen him naked. Why it unnerved him, he couldn't explain, but it caused gooseflesh on his skin and he shakily sat down on the bed again.
Lowering himself onto his heels, Glorfindel removed Erestor's boots. "Lie down," he said in a soft tone, whilst pushing down the covers.
Erestor gave him a questioning look. It was strange; first Elrohir had gained his trust and now Glorfindel as well.
Glorfindel wondered about the different emotions in Erestor's eyes when he helped his friend to lie down.
"Where will you... sleep... then?" Erestor stifled a yawn, and his eyes were already growing vacant. The bed was warm, comfortable and feeling relaxed and safe, he let go of his struggle to remain awake. But he still caught Glorfindel's words as the blond spoke softly.
"The bed is big enough for me to lie down as well, but for now I will sit here and watch over you. Let go of your fears and tension. You are in good hands."
Erestor even managed to smile although he was quickly falling asleep. Thank you for being a friend... A true friend.
Glorfindel found himself stroking the long, dark tresses, whilst watching Erestor's eyes turn vacant. Now that the Noldorin Elf was asleep, he sighed deeply. The anger, aimed at Eridhren, was still there; in fact it was growing and would demand a way out eventually.
A soft knock on his door caught his attention. "Who is it?" He spoke softly to not wake Erestor.
"Elrohir."
"One moment... I locked the door." Glorfindel regretted letting go of the dark mane and rose to his feet. After unlocking the door, he stepped aside and Elrohir entered.
Elrohir smiled saddened, seeing Erestor asleep in the bed. "What happened?"
Glorfindel signaled for Elrohir to follow him and they sat down in front of the fire, exchanging worried looks. "Erestor told me how his father hurt him. It is even worse than we thought. Eridhren is extremely dangerous. I urge you, and Elladan, to remain on your guard at all times."
Elrohir's gaze came to rest on Erestor. "Will you tell me what he said?"
Glorfindel told Elrohir what Eridhren had done to Erestor.
The young half-Elf gasped in shock and sympathy when he learned how badly Erestor had been abused. "That explains so much. It explains why he is afraid of being touched, why he never visited his father, and why he is so concerned about Elladan and I. But we will be careful. Eridhren won't get a chance to hurt anyone again." Elrohir concentrated on Glorfindel and saw the fury in the azure eyes. He felt equally as angry.
"Would you stay with Erestor for a short while? I need to—" Glorfindel paused, searching for the right words. "I need to talk to Elrond about this." Maybe talking to Elrond would subdue this anger that was consuming him. The healer always managed to calm him down. "And I will inform Elladan as well."
Elrohir nodded. "I will gladly sit with Erestor. Take as much time as you need."
Glorfindel looked over his shoulder at Erestor to make sure the Elf was still sound asleep and then headed for the doorway. Suddenly, he halted. "Aren't Elladan and you supposed to take care of Thranduil? I hope you did not desert him?"
"Actually, he excused himself. He wanted to go for a walk in the gardens and I have not seen him since." Elrohir frowned. "Glorfindel, he is nothing like I thought he would be."
"Thranduil is a mystery," confirmed Glorfindel. "I never understood him. But I will also check on him before returning here. He is a guest after all and should be treated accordingly." He would also put up guards close to Eridhren's rooms. "Take good care of Erestor." After seeing Elrohir nod, he left in search of Elrond.
When Erestor's sleep became restless, Elrohir exchanged his chair for the bed, sitting down on its edge. Erestor was moving in bed, occasionally releasing a soft whimper. Acting instinctively, Elrohir reached out and stroked the dark hair. "You can sleep safely, Erestor."
Suddenly the dark eyes flashed with a moment of awareness. "El... rohir?"
"Aye, I am here." Elrohir smiled reassuringly. "As I said earlier, you are safe."
"Elrohir..." Erestor's eyes still had a glint of awareness, but sleep was heavy in them again.
Elrohir was caught by surprise when Erestor suddenly reached for him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and blindly pulling him down. He didn't struggle and gave in willingly, letting the troubled Elf pull him close. Lying facing each other, Elrohir returned Erestor's embrace and enfolded the elder Elf in a hug of his own.
His heart contracted in sympathy when Erestor curled up against him, resting his head against his shoulder. "Aye, you are safe now. You can sleep," murmured Elrohir, realizing how desperately Erestor needed to know he was safe. Holding his former mentor close, Elrohir was content to watch the elder Elf's sleep turn quiet and peaceful again. I am here for you, Erestor. And I won't let your father get to you.
Thranduil marched straight to the quarters where his personal guards were staying and ordered two of them to secure Eridhren's chambers, making sure the Elf couldn't leave unnoticed.
Still angry, he continued to his own guest rooms where he exchanged his formal robes for his leather uniform. He girded on his sword, fastened his cloak and left again, this time heading for the wood instead of the gardens, for he wanted to avoid running into Elrond again at all cost. He felt incredibly hurt and furious, and although part of him realized he was acting like a spoiled brat, he didn't care. Elrond had broken his heart millennia ago and not even Aewithôn had been able to heal that wound. Although he had loved her dearly, part of his heart had remained scarred.
He marched into the woods, drew in a deep breath and explored his surroundings. Living in Mirkwood required his constant alertness. Countless dangers lurked there, but here, in Imladris, he had conceived no threat, and so he let his guard down a little. Encountering a stretch of waving grass, he drew his sword, focused inward and began his routine exercises.
The only noise that betrayed his presence was the soft swoosh of air, as his sword continued to move. Repeating exercises that had become second nature to him, he managed to calm down and get his feelings back under control.
He succeeded in labeling the two things that worried him most. His first and most important problem was Eridhren. He had to find a way to deal with the Elf once and for all. He didn't want Erestor to live in constant fear now that Eridhren knew his whereabouts.
And then there was Elrond. His motions began to slow down, ending his exercises. Elrond Half-Elven... Thranduil sighed. He had lost his heart millennia ago and had regretted being so naïve ever since. His father had warned him not to trust the Peredhel, but he had assured Oropher that Elrond was different, that Elrond loved him. He had been such a fool!
Ending his routine, he sheathed his sword and sat down on the grass, cross-legged. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his head, but failed. Involuntarily, his hand dipped beneath the leather armor to uncover the silver necklace that hung around his neck. He opened the medallion that was attached to it and reverently took out the single lock of dark hair.
Elrond had cut off a lock of his hair when they had made love for the first time, as a sign of their eternal love, and he had cherished it ever since, even though it now mocked the half-Elf's former promises. Elrond had never loved him.
Elladan knew he shouldn't be watching Thranduil, but his curiosity had been piqued, seeing the Elf leave the Last Homely House in such a hurry. He had also wondered about the angry expression in those green eyes and had followed him here. His heart had pounded, seeing Thranduil going through his training exercises and he wished he could handle a sword like that. There was an incredible fluency and elegance to Thranduil's moves, which he had never managed to master. But then again, Thranduil had millennia of fighting experience to draw from.
His curiosity increased when Thranduil opened a silver medallion, revealing a dark lock of hair. Was it his wife's? Elladan felt like an intruder and began to back away, but then a branch snapped beneath his feet, betraying his presence.
Thranduil's head snapped up as he realized he wasn't alone. "Show yourself!" He was back on his feet in a second and his hand rested on the hilt of his sword. His sharp eyes searched the thicket where the noise had come from.
Elladan stepped away from the coppice and stared guiltily at the earth. "I did not mean to spy on you."
Thranduil relaxed; he had been worried that Eridhren had followed him. "Why are you here, Elladan? I was under the impression that you rarely left your brother's side."
"How would -you- know?" Elladan had made eye contact at hearing his name, surprised that Thranduil could tell him apart from his brother. The moment he had spoken the words, he realized how insolent they sounded. He was about to apologize when Thranduil raised a hand, signaling for him to remain silent.
"It may be hard to believe, but your father and I were friends once and I regularly make inquiries about his family. There are always Elves traveling through Mirkwood and they told me about you, your brother and Arwen."
Thranduil's interest in his family surprised Elladan. But Thranduil had said something else that had also caught his attention. "Ada and you were friends once?" Elrond had never mentioned such a thing.
Thranduil's smiled saddened and he sat down on the grass again. After a moment Elladan joined him, sitting down as well, and Thranduil was struck by the resemblance Elladan bore to his father. There was not a single trace of Celebrian in the half-Elf's features. Oh, how Elladan reminded him of a young Elrond Peredhel!
"My lord?" Elladan frowned, seeing the distant expression in Thranduil's eyes. Glorfindel was right; Thranduil was definitely a mystery!
"I was lost in thought," offered Thranduil apologetically. "Aye, we were friends once, but that was before the Battle of the Last Alliance."
Elladan suddenly remembered something and blurted it out. "Your father died at—" Shocked that he had actually said that aloud, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. What had possessed him to bring up such a painful memory?
Thranduil's heart ached, recalling his father's death, but he maintained eye contact with Elladan, knowing that the young half-Elf hadn't meant any disrespect.
"I am sorry," offered Elladan in a guilty tone.
Thranduil forced himself to smile weakly. "I accept your apology."
Relieved, Elladan drew in a deep breath. There was now a tension between them that hadn't been there before, and that was his fault. How could he make up for his stupidity? Maybe there was a way. "I watched you earlier and... You have great control over your sword. Would you teach me?"
Thranduil watched Elladan from under a raised eyebrow. "Teach you?"
"I am sorry - I am being forward, but—" He stopped talking, realizing the ancient Elf was probably not interested in teaching him. Thranduil's sparkling laugh took him aback and he stared at the blond. "What?"
"You remind me of Legolas," said Thranduil, bemused. "Fetch your sword, then, and we will spar. Maybe I will even teach you one of my moves." It was true; Elladan did remind him of his youngest. Legolas also had a way of winding him around his little finger, and Elladan possessed the same charming quality.
"I will be back in a few minutes!" Elladan jumped to his feet, a bundle of sudden energy. "Don't go away! Stay here!" Enthusiastically he sprinted back to the Last Homely House, hoping Thranduil wouldn't change his mind.
Thranduil shook his head in amusement, watching Elladan run. He had postponed visiting Imladris for millennia, afraid he might take a liking to the twins - and it was as he had feared. He liked them. They were full of life and energy, much like his own sons, but they also possessed Elrond's charm. Grinning madly, he wondered what he had gotten himself in to by offering to teach Elladan.
Surprised, Glorfindel noticed that the door to Elrond's study was ajar. Pushing it open, he scanned the room and immediately met Elrond's gaze. The half-Elf seemed upset, maybe even nervous as he continued to pace frantically. "Is something wrong?"
Elrond came to halt, drew in a deep breath and then nodded his head. "So much is wrong. But what brings you here, mellon-nîn, when you should be watching over Erestor?" He had already instructed his guards to watch Eridhren's quarters closely. Eridhren's attempted assault still unnerved him. He had been able to get away from Eridhren, but he was afraid that Erestor hadn't.
"We talked." Glorfindel closed the door behind him to make sure no one could eavesdrop and then sat down in front of Elrond's desk. He waited for the half-Elf to seat himself and then updated Elrond, telling him everything he had learned about Erestor.
Deep lines appeared on Elrond's forehead whilst listening to the horrid tale. "I always suspected something very traumatic had happened to him in his youth. You have gained Erestor's trust; he would not have confided in you otherwise. I am glad you managed to befriend him."
"So am I." Glorfindel had studied Elrond and had reached the conclusion that something else was upsetting the half-Elf. "What is troubling you? I can see it in your eyes. What is it?"
"Eridhren tried to assault me."
Glorfindel's eyes widened. "What?"
"He made suggestions that left little to the imagination."
Finally Glorfindel understood. "He tried to sexually assault you? How insane is he? You are the Lord of Imladris!" He had seen Elrond fight. Eridhren was fortunate to be still alive.
Elrond raised a hand in an attempt to calm Glorfindel. "Nothing happened. Thranduil suddenly appeared and ordered Eridhren to return to his rooms. What happened after that incident was also interesting, however."
Glorfindel felt lost. "Elrond, please, make sense!"
"Thranduil told me he is keeping Eridhren close to make sure he does not commit more horrible deeds. He is very much aware of Eridhren's vile nature... And learning that Thranduil helped Erestor escape surprised me."
"I understand your surprise. I felt the same way when Erestor told me his side of the story. If it had not been for Thranduil, Erestor might not have survived his father's abuse."
"I ordered for Eridhren's rooms to be guarded," said Elrond in a thoughtful tone.
"Thranduil has already stationed some of his guards there as well." Glorfindel exchanged a worried look with the half-Elf. "How do you want to proceed?"
Elrond rose to his feet, paced momentarily, and then came to a halt in front of the window to carefully consider the question. Staring out of the window, he said, "I want you to return to Erestor. He needs someone who he trusts close, and I hope you can deepen this beginning friendship between the two of you."
Glorfindel nodded his head once. "I still blame myself for never looking behind the mask he used to wear. If only we had realized earlier how much he was hurting!"
"I tried to get through to him, but I failed." Elrond looked over his shoulder at Glorfindel. "He decided to trust you. Use that to your advantage. He needs someone to confide in, to share his pain with. He might reconsider when the emotional pain he is in fully registers, but you cannot let him turn away again."
"I will stay close to him at all times," said Glorfindel, reassuringly. "And what about Eridhren?"
"I won't allow him to leave his quarters until I have conferred with Thranduil. I want Eridhren to leave Imladris as quickly as possible, and I will forbid him to ever enter again."
"A wise decision," said Glorfindel, pleased. "And how will you proceed with Thranduil?" He knew he had to be tactful, having suspicions about Elrond's past where it concerned Thranduil. Elrond had never confirmed his suspicions, but he felt strongly that their fallout could be the result of a lovers' quarrel. It would also explain the tension he had sensed during Elrond and Thranduil's sparse meetings.
"I will deal with Thranduil. Do not concern yourself with that." Looking out of the window again, he frowned deeply, seeing Elladan leave in a hurry, carrying a sword. Where is he going? Feeling the strong urge to find out, he dismissed Glorfindel. "Return to Erestor and guard him well. There is a matter I want to investigate."
Glorfindel got to his feet. "I will keep you informed about Erestor." After seeing Elrond nod, he stepped into the corridor and headed back to Erestor's quarters.
Elrond gathered his robes around him and left as well, intent on tracking down Elladan and finding out his son's intensions.
Elladan ran back to the clearing, hoping Thranduil was still there, waiting for him. Searching his surroundings, he sighed, relieved, seeing the blond seated on the grass. Suddenly he recalled the medallion he had seen Thranduil open earlier; he still wondered whom that lock belonged to. But he put that thought aside as he came to a halt in front of Thranduil, panting softly. "You stayed."
Thranduil smiled and rose to his feet. "You asked me to."
"I was not sure you would."
"I always keep my promises," said Thranduil, bemused. Elladan was staring at him, wide-eyed, and now presented his sword. Thranduil rose to his feet, took it, and wielded it to test its balance. "It is a good sword," he said, returning it to the half-Elf.
"Ada gave it to me when I reached my majority," said Elladan in a proud tone, taking firmly hold of the sword and waiting for Thranduil to tell him what to do.
"Did he also teach you how to use it?" Thranduil drew his sword, studying the young half-Elf and seeing much of a younger, passionate Elrond in Elladan.
"Glorfindel did. Ada was too busy with formal matters." Elladan assumed his position and blocked Thranduil's attack, launching one of his own.
Thranduil easily warded off the blow and used one of his own patented moves to drive Elladan back.
Elladan started slightly when he was backed up against a tree. Thranduil moved too quickly for him and suddenly his sword flew through the air. Not even Glorfindel had ever managed to disarm him this quickly! Awed, his eyes sparkled and he greedily stared at the blond, hoping Thranduil would teach him that particular move!
Thranduil recognized Elladan's eagerness to learn, and was inclined to indulge the young half-Elf and teach him; but then everything changed. Suddenly his trusted sword was knocked out of his hand, and he was flung hard onto the ground. Rendered speechless, he tried to catch his breath and stared at Elrond, who had grabbed Elladan's sword and had now placed it against his throat.
Elrond glared at Thranduil. When he had arrived he had seen Thranduil threaten Elladan, and his instincts had taken over. "That is low, even for you."
Elladan stared at his father in shock. Why was Elrond threatening Thranduil? He wanted to explain everything, but Elrond silenced him by raising his hand.
Elrond kept his attention focused on the blond and his features contorted in loathing from looking at Thranduil. "Your quarrel is with me, not my son. Don't ever try to hurt Elladan again."
"But Ada!" Elladan moved toward Elrond, but his father's glare froze him in his tracks.
Thranduil's anger rose. Ignoring the fact that the tip of Elladan's sword was cutting into his throat and drawing blood, he returned Elrond's glare. "I suggest you remove that sword now." His tone was bitter and his eyes had turned cold..
"Ada, listen to me!" But Elladan didn't get the chance to explain. Suddenly Thranduil was on his feet and Elrond had been disarmed. His sword was in Thranduil's hand now. How had the blond done that? His father looked shocked as well.
Thranduil handed the sword back to Elladan and then faced Elrond. He could tell by the look in his former lover's eyes that the half-Elf was raging inwardly, and only kept back because Elladan was present. "That fact that you think me capable of intentionally hurting your son is..." Lost for words, he shook his head. "I would never hurt him! Why would I?"
Elrond lost his patience. "When you cannot get to me you hurt them instead! I know you!"
"You do not know me at all," said Thranduil in an oddly soft, almost gentle tone.
Elladan's confusion was growing, watching the two of them. They looked like they were ready to tear each other apart and yet... There was something else hiding beneath the anger. He had never felt such a particular tension!
Thranduil's tender tone caught Elrond off guard and he actually calmed down. Whilst still glaring at Thranduil, Elladan's words finally registered.
"Ada, we were sparring. He agreed to teach me some of his maneuvers. It was not for real!" Elladan grabbed his father's arm, finally getting Elrond to look at him. "I wanted to learn from him and he agreed to teach me!"
Elrond stared at Elladan in disbelief. "He was not--?" Now that Elladan's words proved him wrong, he didn't know how to react. Had he falsely accused Thranduil? "But I saw him—"
"I disarmed him to demonstrate one of my maneuvers. Elladan never was in any danger." Thranduil's eyes were frozen ice and all emotions were gone from them. "I think it is best when I discuss our plans for joined border patrols with Glorfindel tomorrow morning, instead of you. That way we do not have to meet again. I will leave tomorrow evening, and I will take Eridhren with me."
Elrond only now fully realized his mistake, but he refused to apologize. He didn't want Thranduil to gloat. "That would be best, yes."
Thranduil nodded, and then smiled reassuringly at Elladan. "You will be a great swordsman one day. Just keep practicing."
Elladan, lost for words, nodded as well, regretting the fact that this sparring match had caused such an argument between Thranduil and his father. He just couldn't understand why Elrond had overreacted like that! Surely his father didn't really believe that Thranduil was capable of hurting him? He knew his father well enough to realize that Elrond would never have allowed Thranduil to visit if he'd had doubts. What was this argument really about?
Thranduil no longer paid Elrond any attention and marched away from the two half-Elves, returning to his guest quarters. Any thoughts of possibly rebuilding some sort of friendship with Elrond were gone now.
"Ada? Why did you do that? You did not really think he would hurt me, did you?" Elladan struggled to understand, but failed.
"Aiya, Elladan..." Elrond sighed, dejectedly. "I made a mistake in judgment."
"Then why do you not admit you were wrong? Why blame Thranduil?"
Elrond shook his head. He couldn't tell Elladan the real reason behind their animosities. He didn't want his son to know he'd had a brief affair with the blond.
Frustrated that his father wasn't answering, Elladan shuffled his feet and saw that Thranduil's sword still lay on the ground. He reverently picked it up. A thoughtful gleam appeared in his eyes. "Someone should return this to him. And I think it should be you. You owe him an apology, Ada." The pleading expression in his father's eyes took Elladan aback. "Why are you acting so strangely? I do not know you like this!"
"Don't ask me to explain this to you."
Elladan frowned. "Thranduil told me you were friends once. Why can you not be friends again? I do not know what happened between the two of you, but I think he would like to rebuild that friendship. There was a sad note to his voice when he spoke of the past. And why did you think he would hurt me? I do not understand you."
Elrond slowly curled his fingers around the hilt of Thranduil's sword and sighed, distressed. "There is a lot of history between us, much more than you know."
Elladan's hands dropped, forcing his father to take hold of Thranduil's sword. "You take it back to him." Stubbornly, he locked gazes with his father. "You chased him away, you give it back to him."
Elrond wondered about Elladan's stubborn streak. Celebrian would say he had inherited it from his father. "I will talk to Thranduil."
"You should do more than talk. You should apologize for your behavior. You completely overreacted."
"I did," admitted Elrond slowly. "But I had my reasons."
Elladan rested his hand on his father's shoulder. "Ada, I do not know what happened between Thranduil and you in the past, but it must have happened centuries ago. Maybe it is time to talk about it and to let it go?"
"How did you go from stubborn to wise in seconds?" Elrond laughed warmly. Elladan never ceased to amaze him. "Would you like to spar with him again? He is a great warrior."
"I would love to, but only if you can deal with it. I do not want you attacking Thranduil again." Frustrated, Elladan wished his father would tell him what this was really about, but he knew Elrond well enough to know he wouldn't confide in him. His father was good at keeping secrets. He nodded once and then left, figuring Elrond needed a moment to sort out his thoughts.
Elrond stared at Thranduil's sword. The blond had named it before riding into battle at the Last Alliance. Nîn doll caun... My dark prince... Thranduil had named his sword after him. When he had found out he had laughed at Thranduil, and now that he recalled that moment, Thranduil had looked hurt. But that hadn't registered with him at the time.
I really hurt you in the past and I hurt you again today. That was never my intention. I do not know why I thought you were about to hurt Elladan. I should know you better. You might have an arrogant air about you, but you would never hurt my son.
Elrond hated himself for thinking that badly of Thranduil. Elladan is right. I need to apologize. And we need to do more. We need to talk about the past and let it go, just like Elladan said.
Elrond turned around and walked toward the Last Homely House. Elladan was right; Thranduil and he needed to talk.
It was time he faced his past choices.
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